


Alone Again revised

by BettyHT



Series: You Can't Go Home Again [2]
Category: Bonanza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 14:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16177304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyHT/pseuds/BettyHT
Summary: Second in the You Can't Go Home series.  Adam is in terrible turmoil feeling betrayed and alone cut off from all he knew and trusted after suffering a terrible tragedy.  He makes a new life and eventually learns the truth behind all that has happened to him easing the pain somewhat.





	Alone Again revised

Alone Again revised

Chapter 1

The cell door to solitary in Nevada State Prison clanked open. The occupant squinted at the bright light of day. He wondered if he had miscounted. He was sure that it had been only twenty-one days not thirty. With so much practice with the routine of the place, he had gotten quite good at learning to count the days in solitary. He actually liked solitary over being in population. It was safe and quiet here. He wondered too if the two years in this place damaged his mental abilities that much. Conditioned to take orders though, he stood, turned his back, and put his hands behind him wrists extended for the shackles to be attached. He hated this part but each time he had resisted had led to punishment, and he wasn't sure his back could take any more scarring from the whip.

"Not today. Just put these clothes on and follow me."

That was a major surprise and worrisome because any change in routine could be a major problem. He worried about some new torture had they dreamed up for him. He pulled on the prison pants and shirt. There were no shoes provided, but it was summer so there was no need really although he wondered at the omission. He followed the guard who walked directly to the infirmary. There, he opened the door and nodded for him to enter. That too was unusual. The door closed behind him leaving him alone in the front office area of the infirmary. More curious than worried, he only had to wait a few minutes and an inmate nurse stepped through from the interior hallway and beckoned him to follow. The man had treated him innumerable times before when he had been injured from fights and from punishments, and had been most kind so he had no fear as he followed him. He was stopped at the washroom and directed to enter and bathe. There was a tub with warm water and soap. Not having seen a bath at all or even soap for most of the last two years, he was shocked at the opportunity but was not going to object to it. Undressing quickly, he stepped into the tub always watching the door wondering what horror might befall him but after fifteen minutes there was nothing until the nurse knocked on the door and asked if he was ready.

"Yes as soon as I dry off and dress."

"Okay but don't dress yet. I got some other clothes they want you to wear."

At that point, he got defensive. How much easier the attack on him would be if he was still naked. He quickly pulled on the prison pants he had with him, but the door opened and the nurse was there with the clothes he had worn the day he stepped into this hell on earth. The look on the nurse's face told him that his fear was well understood by the other man. After all, the nurse had seen the results of nearly all of the attacks he had endured. He knew the special treatment that prisoners convicted of raping and murdering a woman and then murdering her son often received in prison. In the prison hierarchy, he had been on the bottom, and no one wanted to be his friend or ally. After the door was once again closed, he stripped off the prison pants and put on the black jeans and black shirt. There was a new pair of socks, which he donned before pulling on his boots. His belt didn't have enough notches to pull tight enough to secure his pants but close enough for now. If he got to keep it, he could add a notch later. The shirt fit loosely enough that he could pull the cuffs down and secure them to hide the scars on his wrists from shackles. He buttoned it to the top to hide the scar from the rope burn of the noose that had briefly circled his neck. How very close that lynch mob had come before the sheriff had rescued him and put him back in jail. It wasn't really a rescue though was it as it simply guaranteed more pain and loss in his life.

"I'm ready."

Although he wasn't sure what he was ready for whatever was in store for him, but assumed he had no say in his future anyway so he cooperated. The nurse walked him to the door of the infirmary and when it opened, the same guard was there sitting on a bench. He motioned for Adam to proceed to the administrative building. It was where Adam was usually summoned to hear his punishment each time he had been attacked but then blamed for the disturbance.

"We're going to the warden's office."

However, he had not seen the warden in his office since the first day he had arrived. He did see him on occasion often as he lay battered and bloody on the floor too weak to walk to the administrative building, and the warden would decide if his injuries warranted a trip to the infirmary or if he should go directly to solitary for inciting another disturbance. That was another fact of prison life he had not known. The staff knew of the prison hierarchy and seemed to approve of it. The result was that he was punished for every attack he had endured. At least the month in solitary protected him from further attacks until he was released back into the general population, and they found an opportunity to attack him again. He always fought them, but outnumbered every time, he never stood a chance of winning. He had lost nine days of his safe time this day and wondered what would happen next. The whole day seemed inexplicably mysterious based on his previous experiences and so far he could make no sense of any of it.

When they reached the warden's office, he was told to take a seat in the inner office and the guard left. His shock must have been on his face because the guard smiled as he left. No shackles, no locks, and no guard. This was not any part of prison that he understood. The door opened and the warden invited him in and asked him to sit. That was another shock because inmates were always ordered to stand in the presence of a guard or any prison officer but especially the warden.

"I have a letter here for you from the governor of Nevada. He sent one to me as well."

The warden read the first part of the letter, and he couldn't help it as his heart began beating rapidly and his breathing was shallow and fast. "The State of Nevada hereby exonerates and orders the release of Adam Cartwright. All records of his arrest, conviction, and imprisonment by the State of Nevada are to be expunged. It is with great regret that we inform you that a grave mistake of justice has been made. . . . " There was more but there was no need to read it. Adam stared at the warden who was smiling at him as if he had never treated him as scum.

"I have been ordered to release you immediately. The governor has come into possession of irrefutable evidence of your innocence. We sincerely apologize for the mistake that was made in convicting and sentencing you, but witnesses were mistaken. They, the jury, and the judge had no possible way to know that. Apparently there was some effort to make sure that you were blamed for another's acts. Now that it has been ascertained, there is to be no delay in remediation of the error. You are to be released. The state of Nevada does not accept any responsibility for the harm that has befallen you. The system worked as it should and used the evidence that was available. We will provide you with transportation to the nearest town and money enough to pay for one night's lodging, meals, and a ticket to any town you wish as your destination."

There was so much that Adam wanted to say but there was no point. He stood and accepted the envelope with the cash.

"Is there anyone here to see me?"

"No, I'm sorry to say there is not."

"Then I would like that ride you offered."

"The wagon is at the front. You can access it by walking down this hall to your right and the door at the end opens to the outside. Good luck Mr. Cartwright. I'm sorry for any trouble you have had here, but we had no way of knowing that you were an innocent man. I hope you can forgive those who put you here. Vengeance will only lead to you returning, and I would hate to see that happen."

Adam walked to the end of the hall and outside. He stood there a moment to feel his freedom. It was something he had thought was forever lost along with everything else he had ever had. The driver saw him and climbed into the seat and motioned that Adam should join him on the top seat. He climbed up beside the driver and they rode the twelve miles to the nearest town. The man had little to say to him as he had never given a ride to a man who was released because he was innocent. He was dropped off in front of a restaurant. The driver tipped his hat and turned the prison wagon to return to the prison. From the hostile looks he got from those on the street at that time, he knew that he looked just like any other convict who had been released at the fulfillment of his sentence. He looked down the street and saw a table in front of the saloon with a few men lined up, and he headed in that direction because it looked like they were hiring and he needed a job. As he stood there, he gathered enough from the questions asked to know they were hiring drovers for a cattle drive. That suited him fine if they would be willing to hire him. When he got to the head of the line, the man at the table looked him over and asked the obvious.

"Just get out of prison?"

What could he say? He nodded yes.

"Got any experience working cattle?"

"Yes, quite a bit."

"Well we're mighty short-handed. Mr. Castle sent me into town to hire some extra men to drive the herd he bought up to Wyoming. It's a dollar a day and no guarantee of a job when we get to his ranch."

"If you'll have me, I'll take it."

"Don't suppose you got any gear?"

"No sir, but I have twenty dollars and could get the basics with that."

"The name's Bud, and I'll go with you to the livery to get you set up. Old Jace sees you coming with that pasty white prison skin, and he's gonna take all of that twenty and give you a swayback with worn out tack. You trust me to get you set up?"

"Don't see why not."

"You stay that agreeable, and you might just find yourself with a real job as long as you can work cattle like you say."

"No problem with the prison experience?"

"Lotsa men working out here got stuff in their past to be ashamed of, me included. Don't matter none as long as it stays in the past. What's your name?"

"Adam … Black."

The trail boss heard the hesitation but it didn't bother him none. His name wasn't Bud either. As far as he was concerned, they would let the man start fresh. It might be what he needed.

Within an hour Adam had a decent mount. He had pulled the silver band from his hat and added it to the twenty dollars so he was able to get a better horse. Bud appraised him as he rode and noted with satisfaction that it was taking him a very short time to let the horse know who was boss. Adam rode with the confidence of a man who had been riding horses most of his life. His clothing and boots were better than that usually worn by a cowhand making Bud wonder what he had done to end up in prison, but as long as he could do the work and didn't create any trouble, that wouldn't matter. Once Bud and the men he had hired reached the herd, Mr. Castle came out to greet them. All three of the new hires looked to him like they could handle the work so he was pleased. Often in this situation he would have to hire men who really didn't work very well, but a poor hand was often better than none because at least he could have them ride drag. He was surprised when Bud suggested that Adam ride lead or flank, and the other two could ride flank. Mr. Castle nodded at him and he accepted his recommendation. None of them would draw nightherd duty this first night but were told to expect to be in the rotation by the following night. They were sent to the chuck wagon to have dinner and were later introduced to the other men. The next day, they would start the trek to Wyoming.

 

Chapter 2

In the same time span in Virginia City, Ben, Hoss, and Joe exited the courtroom with greater joy than they thought they had ever felt. Adam's conviction was expunged and he was exonerated. They met Roy outside. They were all packed, had five extra horses on lead ropes, and immediately started the ride to the prison. If they rode through the night, they thought they could be there by noon the next day.

"Hoss, how are we ever going to be able to say sorry enough for Adam to forgive us? It was our testimony that put him in prison."

"I had my doubts at the time. I shoulda done something about them. I just knew Adam couldna done it. But we thought we saw him leave Ann's house, and then he told us he wasn't even there. How were we to know that it was Tom Burns? He dressed like Adam and he looked like Adam. He even looked right at us when we called out 'Adam' to him. We had no way of knowing that Tom Burns was getting his revenge on Adam and on Ann that night. But how a man could murder his own son, I just don't know."

"Boys, no one knew that Tom Burns faked his own death so that his wife would be thought guilty of framing him when he had in fact committed that crime. He fooled so many people. More than anyone, I should have known Adam couldn't have done it but it seemed that he wasn't being entirely truthful, and I didn't understand why he would do that. I'm sure that our lack of support had an impact on the jury's decision. It shouldn't have, but in a smaller town like this and as well known as we are, I'm sure that helped convict him. But I did doubt him, and I chose to ignore all I knew about him that he couldn't be that way. It's just with him gone all those years, when he returned, I thought maybe he had changed in some fundamental way."

"Pa, you only ignored it because Hoss and I said we saw him there, and then he said he wasn't there. Made us all think that he was lying, and that led us to wonder why he wouldn't explain why he was there. But we should have known, Pa, we should have known better."

"Nothing we can do about it now except beg him to forgive us, and then see what we can do to make things right. It's never going to be right though, but we can make things a lot better. Boys, we're going to have to let Adam make the decisions on how we do it though. We owe him that and a lot more."

Roy just shook his head. He had never told them what Adam had said when the lynch mob was threatening the jail, and Roy warned him that he might not be able to stop them.

"It doesn't matter. I lost Ann. That tore out my heart. I have lost my reputation, my freedom, my family, and my friends. No one trusts me and no one believes me. What else is there to lose. My life is worth nothing now. Don't risk your life to save it."

The mob had come and overwhelmed Roy. They locked him in a cell, and he had watched as Adam's 'friends and neighbors' dragged him out of his cell, hitting him, and yelling at him. Clem had heard the disturbance from his house and entered the jail after the crowd left. He got Roy out of the cell, they armed themselves and got Sam from the Silver Dollar and a couple of other men willing to enforce the law and arrived at the scene just as the horse pulled away from Adam. The rope was stretched too tight before he was dropped from the horse so it didn't break his neck, but it was strangling him. Roy raced to cut him down as the other men held guns on the crowd to hold them back. Roy thought Adam was dead, but after the noose was loosened, he breathed. Doctor Martin bandaged the rope burn and walked away without saying a word. The next day, Adam climbed into the prison wagon. No one in his family and none of his friends had seen him off that day and none had seen him after that day. He thought they were ashamed of him and wanted nothing to do with him. He was no longer one of them. He didn't know that they couldn't bear to see him in chains and in that prison wagon and had been in Carson City seeing the governor and trying to get some justice for him. They had managed to get a prison sentence instead of hanging, but they couldn't get clemency. Now however all they felt was shame over their horrendous treatment of an innocent man: son, brother, and friend.

The four men made good time and arrived at the prison gates well before noon the following day. There they found that the governor had ordered Adam's immediate release so they had missed it by a day. With the information that he had money for lodging and food, they headed to the nearest town to find him. He hadn't registered at the hotel there and no one at any restaurant remembered seeing anyone who looked like him. He had not bought a ticket for the stage in any direction. Of course the description they got from Ben and the others bore little resemblance to Adam now. He had a full beard with some gray at the sides and wore his hair long. He had not shaved nor had a haircut in two years. The dimples and cleft chin as well as the hazel eyes were hidden and no one had seen them. He weighed about the same as he had when he was twenty-two. In addition, he had been in town just over an hour and had not entered any business except the livery stable. There Bud had conducted the entire transaction so Jace had never heard the cultured baritone voice either. The only information they got was that a man had climbed down from the prison wagon the day before. The town was used to that and paid no attention to a man they expected would be gone within a day so no one had noticed where he went. It was as if Adam had disappeared.

The four men got rooms at the hotel and went to the restaurant in the hotel for dinner. None had much of an appetite and pushed their food around the plate as much as they actually ate anything. They had lost him again and each was caught up in thoughts of guilt and frustration. Finally Hoss broke the silence.

"What are we gonna do? We got no idea where he went but he can't be far. No matter where he went, he can only be a day or so away.

"Ben, did we ask at the livery if anyone bought a horse? Could be that Adam hooked up with somebody or rode out on his own, but he would still need a horse. Maybe he bought one and left town right away."

Ben and his sons looked at Roy and then stood hastily. Roy followed as they raced out of the restaurant headed to the livery. There, Jace was questioned about selling any horses the previous day.

"Well I did sell a horse and tack to Bud."

"Who's Bud?"

"He's a foreman for an outfit that was buying cattle hereabouts that they're gonna drive north to some ranch."

Joe was getting impatient. "What ranch? Who's the owner? Where?"

"Don't know any a that. Bud's been in here a few times as they hit the ranches around here and bought up some stock. Alls I know is he said the spread was way north a here or maybe it was east. I'm not rightly sure I remember 'cuz I been having lots of others in here from other ranches too. Don't think Bud ever mentioned a name or place exactly. Said they were done and heading back."

"Well, what else did he say?"

"That it was a big spread and they needed to improve their breeding stock. That's about all I know. Didn't ask no questions. Just talked as he was buying stuff."

"Well how many herds can there be out there now?"

"Don't know but lots of ranchers from Wyoming and Idaho been hereabouts lately cause they lost so many cows and bulls to the blizzards in those parts last year."

Ben and his sons knew the truth of that as they had been selling a lot to buyers from those areas too. They had rejoiced at being able to sell so many without a drive making profit margins greater, but now it also meant it would be much more difficult to locate Adam. The next morning at first light, Hoss said he would try to find tracks of men heading north or east. It was the only hope they had, but the next morning when they got up, the rain was pouring down. Any hope they had of tracking anyone out of town was gone.

Once the rain stopped, they headed for Virginia City. The next plan was to hire detectives to search Wyoming and Idaho ranches for new hires. Of course with the description they had, that would not work either. They also had no way of knowing that Adam's name wasn't Cartwright any more. He had seen no point in keeping a name that would only bring questions and perhaps accusations his way. His last link to his family was severed.

 

Chapter 3

On the cattle drive to Wyoming, Adam found that getting used to living in the outside world again had some difficulties but overall was pleasant. One problem was that no one could touch him when he was sleeping. Bud came to wake him for nightherd duty the second night of the drive, and the men had to pull him off Bud. Bud still had red marks on his neck the next morning at breakfast when he asked Adam to walk away from the chuck wagon to talk. Adam expected to be fired.

"Was it that way for you a lot in prison?"

Adam was shocked by the question but nodded.

"I kinda thought so. Spent a little time inside when I was younger. Not good looking and nobody held anything against me so mostly I got left alone. I made friends quickly so I had backup too. I'm guessing there's some reason you didn't."

Adam stared at the man. Bud had been good to him, but they weren't friends yet and even if they were, he wasn't sure he could have this conversation with him.

"I understand if you're not ready to tell me anything. I'm not gonna fire you. Figured out what happened right away. How should I wake you?"

Relieved, and grateful that he was being treated so fairly, Adam was respectful and answered that way. "Say my name or kick my boot. I do wake easy."

"Yeah, I suppose you did learn to sleep light. Okay. I'll let everyone know. I'll do it quietly so nobody will make a big deal about it, but I don't need to lose a hand cause you kill him for waking you up. And I'd rather not have your hands around my neck again either."

"I'm sorry."

Bud nodded to accept the apology, and he walked back to the chuck wagon, and after a moment, so did Adam. Bud was a good trail boss and might become a good friend if the first few days were any indication. Adam could use a friend, but he wasn't sure at this point if he could ever trust any one that much again.

The other issue that came up was that the men had less respect for Adam because he didn't have a firearm. It was among other things they held against him. Bud got him a scabbard and a rifle to carry when he was out with the herd, but he didn't have a pistol and was the only one there who didn't. Even the cook was wearing one so the men gave Adam some ribbing on a daily basis about it. They had never seen him shoot or fight, and with his obvious prison background, they didn't treat him as an equal. His work with the cattle was better than most, and they found that he could sing songs to help settle the herd at night which was a real bonus. However singing at the chuck wagon even though it was asked for by the men caused some of them to wonder about his manhood, and behind his back, comments were made.

After three weeks on the trail, the barbs sent Adam's way got sharper and sharper, and public. He held his temper, but it was getting much more difficult for him to do so. After an especially long day on the trail, two of the youngest men there began laying insults on him pretty heavily. Then one 'accidentally' knocked his plate of food into the dirt. The other spilled coffee on him as he came to help the first man. Adam jumped up furious with the two for their stupid actions. They taunted him more as he stood there, and the other men waited to see what he would do. Bud and Mr. Castle were standing outside the ring discussing the last part of the drive. Bud was going to intervene, but Mr. Castle stopped him.

"Let's see what he's made of. Those two jokers won't be with us once the drive is finished, but Adam might make a good hand if he can get the respect of the other men."

The two young rowdies were having fun. They thought they were winning when Adam's fury seemed to have cooled, and he stared at them silently. One stepped forward to give Adam a push and met a fist in his chin that threw him on his back. The other one bull rushed Adam who sidestepped and flung the young man into the wheel of the chuck wagon. The first man got up and taunted Adam to 'fight like a man' but backed up as Adam advanced on him. Finally he could go no further and threw a punch that Adam blocked with his left and followed with a right to his gut and then a left uppercut. That one was down for the count. The one by the wagon rushed toward Adam's back but Adam pivoted before he got there and the arm he threw out to punch Adam was grabbed and he was dropped to his knees by a blow to his chin. When he was on his knees, Adam kicked him in the buttocks making him sprawl in the dirt. He didn't get up. Adam spun on the rest of the men.

"Anyone else care to see if I can fight?"

Bud walked into the firelight and answered for them all.

"I think any questions about you just got answered. A couple of you see to these two boys and the rest of you get some sleep."

Bud nodded at Adam and went to lay out his bedroll next to his saddle. Adam did the same and everyone bedded down for the night. The next morning Bud kicked Adam's boot at dawn. As Adam rose and rolled his bedroll, Jake handed him a cup of coffee and Buck mentioned that the cook was making his flapjack breakfast. Adam smiled and thanked Jake for the coffee and nodded at Buck. The three settled by the fire to drink their coffee and wait for breakfast. Bud walked over as Mr. Castle was finishing up with his gear and was told to let Adam know he had a job on the Castle ranch if he wanted to stay: bed, grub, thirty dollars a month, and a clothing allowance in town. When Adam was given the offer, he accepted.

Once they reached the Castle ranch, all the men were paid for the drive. Town was an hour away but all the hands as well as Bud and Mr. Castle headed that way. Once in town, Mr. Castle told Adam he wanted him to go to the general store with him. Inside he addressed the owner.

"Davis I want this man outfitted completely. He's got what he's got on right now. You know what he needs. Put it on my bill. Here's a list of other things I need. I'll leave the wagon out front and Adam can load everything up once you get it collected."

"Mr. Castle, I can buy what I need."

"Everyone of my men gets proper outfitting with a clothing allowance. You're just going to use up the year's allowance today so you better be careful with what you get because you will pay to replace anything you need that gets damaged beyond repair. Get yourself over to the saloon when you're done."

With that, Mr. Castle nodded and walked out. He needed to buy a few rounds at the saloon as it was a tradition after a successful drive. The next day was Sunday so most of the men could relax and sleep off a hangover if needed. And many of them did need it.

That first morning when he finally got to take off the one shirt he had been wearing for weeks and wash up so he could wear the new clothes he had gotten the day before, Adam was a little self-conscious. These men had never seen the scars he had and he waited until most of them were outside before stripping off his shirt and washing. There was silence behind him but he could imagine what they were thinking. He decided to get it all out in the open and turned to walk to his bunk and get a scissors to trim his hair a bit. That gave them a view of the scars on his arms, chest, and abdomen. No one said anything for a bit but Jake couldn't stay silent.

"Holy shit, Blackie, it looks like you fought an army and lost."

"Jake, why would you say that? I'm still here. Do you see an army?"

Jake, Bud, and Buck laughed at that but wondered how a man could accumulate that many scars and still be alive. When Adam was dressed, all of them headed outside to see what the others were doing because by all the gunshots they were hearing there was something interesting going on. As they walked behind the barn, they saw one of the younger men showing off his new pistol purchased with the money he earned on the drive. The only drinks he had had the day before had been the rounds bought by Mr. Castle so he had no hangover to worry about and was practicing with his new pistol.

"Hey Adam, how would you like to try my new pistol? I could show you how to shoot with a quick draw and all."

"That's okay, Newt, I don't need to learn how to shoot your new pistol."

"Not afraid of it, are you? C'mon, just one lesson?"

With the laughter from the men, Adam knew he had to now so he nodded and said he would try. Newt set up six cans on the fence, walked back, and tied the holster to his leg. He drew and fired quickly knocking four of the six cans in the air. He got a bunch of hoorahs from the men and a few comments about missing two but not many because most of the men would not have been able to do that well. He unbuckled the belt and handed the rig to Adam who strapped it on. Bud thought he looked like he had done that a lot because he looked more comfortable with the rig hanging low and tied to his leg than Newt had. Any questions about that were answered quickly after Newt placed the six cans back up on the fence. Once Newt was clear, Adam drew faster than most of them could follow and shot all six cans in the air. He casually unbuckled the belt and handed it to Newt.

"I guess you're a natural born teacher, Newt. Thank you for the lesson. I guess I learned all I need to know."

Adam strolled away whistling a tune. Most of the men silently watched him go. They wondered who the hell this new man was. It was probably the question in most of their minds whenever they took any time to think about it. Some guessed gunfighter and some guessed outlaw. Not one ever came close to guessing who he was. Once he walked around the barn, the men got back to the target practice, but it didn't seem so funny any more. Bud just sat on a barrel by the barn watching the men practice their shooting and wondering too who this Adam really was.

Mr. Castle was in his study reading newspapers he had sent to him from cities in the region. He wanted to know what was happening in the region so that he would have more information to manage not only his ranch but the investments he had or would make. One article in the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise had grabbed his attention more than any of the informative articles about cattle, mining, lumbering, and railroads. The tale of Adam Cartwright's tragic life for the past two years was spelled out from beginning to end including that his family had looked for him and couldn't find him after his release from prison about a month earlier. The sketch with the article showed Adam as he had been before the trial. It was the way people in Virginia City remembered him. The cleft chin, dimples, grin, and captivating eyes dominated the sketch. When Bud came in later to discuss the work schedule for the week, Mr. Castle tossed him the paper and had him read the article.

"Could that be our man out there?"

"Well, Mr. Castle, by the article, it sure could be and would explain some things, but this sketch doesn't look much like him."

"My curiosity is going to get the best of me on this one. Next payday, I think I will gift him a shaving kit. Seems like he may be the only one of the men who doesn't have one."

"Well that could certainly help answer the question if you can get him to use it too."

"We'll just have to see what he does. I don't think I want to force the issue with him and lose a good hand. If he is this Cartwright, he could be a big help to us here in improving the ranch. It would help to know. Meanwhile, see how he evaluates things. Just bounce ideas off of him and see what he says. Let me know if you think any of the ideas have merit. If he is this Cartwright, he'll know a lot of things that might be very useful to us here."

 

Chapter 4

Early fall colors blanketed the forests of western Wyoming. There were hints of yellow and red showing in the deciduous trees. Interspersed with evergreens in the forests, it made for a rich tapestry. The snowcapped mountains in the background of almost every view made the Castle Ranch seem majestic. It was only a few years old though, and Mr. Castle wanted to expand and improve his holdings. Bud came in early one morning with a suggestion. It seemed he had been in the barn with Adam and had seen the younger man staring at the upper reaches of the barn.

"Something mighty interesting up there?"

"How old is this barn?"

"We built it just two years ago. Mr. Castle wants to add on and build another one to use for hay and other storage."

"Whoever built it made some mistakes. There isn't enough bracing for the load bearing walls and the roof needs more truss support. It could blow down in a strong windstorm or a heavy snow load on the roof could collapse it."

"What would you do with it?"

"Fix it."

With more questions, he found that Adam thought they could add a frame inside the barn that would add enough support and then extend that further out the back to allow for expansion as well. For a new barn, he suggested a new design though to make the overall cost less and create a barn suitable to a different purpose. Mr. Castle had been wondering whom he was going to get to design a barn for him out here. They had done their best with local help with the first barn and the flaws in that method were apparent. His house plans had been purchased from San Francisco, but he didn't want to incur that type of expense for barns. He asked Bud to send Adam in to see him when he returned from the pastures later that day. When Bud told Adam to head up to the main house, Adam was apprehensive. Bud noted his stoic demeanor.

"There's no trouble. He just wants to talk to you about what you said about the barn. Clean up a bit before you go. He's got a nice place there and ain't gonna appreciate you tracking any dust into his parlor."

The other hands watched him as he cleaned up. They were really starting to like this new man. He worked hard and never complained although some of his looks communicated plenty sometimes. He treated all the hands with respect. But he kept to himself a lot, and never talked about his past in even the simplest terms. He would talk about what he knew how to do but never about his experiences doing them. The hands had come up with all sorts of possible scenarios including that he was a hired gun or outlaw on the run. They had all seen what he looked like when he arrived and knew he had spent time in prison especially after Bud warned them off about being careful how they woke him. He wasn't the biggest man here but no one wanted to tangle with him after he whipped those two young pups on the drive. They were long gone of course. Mr. Castle would never put up with troublemakers like that on the ranch. They just hoped the new man didn't bring trouble here somehow, but so far things had been working rather smoothly.

Even as Adam noted their surveillance, he didn't let it disturb him. He knew they were still taking the measure of him, and he hadn't made it easy for them yet. Pulling on a clean shirt, he put away his kit and walked out the door of the bunkhouse. Pausing briefly, he sighed, and then marched up to the main house and knocked on the door. A small Chinese man opened the door, and Adam greeted him in Cantonese. The man was shocked, but Adam said he knew very little but had learned the basic greetings and responses. Smiling in appreciation, the man led him to Mr. Castle's library and asked him to wait there. He walked around the room faintly jealous of the many books on the shelves. Wistfully he remembered his library at the Ponderosa and wondered what they had done with it. Probably burned them and everything else he left behind was the only morose thought he had about that. Hearing the door open again, he greeted Mr. Castle as he entered. Mr. Castle noticed where he was standing.

"Like books, do you? Well on a Sunday, you could come up here to read if you like. I don't let my books out of the house. I couldn't bear to lose one as they are very hard to replace here."

"I would like that very much. It is something I have missed for some time now."

"Now, you can call me Reg. My name is Reginald Marshall Castle but no one is ever allowed to call me Reginald. Outside the house, like Bud, please refer to me as Mr. Castle. I find that works best at keeping the proper relationship with the men."

Adam was about to say that was his experience with his father but caught himself before he said that. Instead, he simply agreed with Reg.

"Good now I would like to get down to business. You will find that I am a very direct man. I say what I think and don't hold anything back. My experience with you leads me to believe that you are an educated man. From what Bud has told me with the observations about the barn, I think you have training as an architect or an engineer. Is that right?"

"Yes on all counts and training and experience in both."

"Good. Succinct and honest. Now what I need from you is an answer. Can you draw designs to reinforce and expand the main barn to make it a stable for forty horses or more and can you draw a plan for another barn that would hold hay and other supplies and equipment like wagons and a carriage?"

Adam shook his head negatively, and Reg was highly disappointed.

"Well why not?"

"I don't have drafting tools, a drafting desk, and drafting paper. With a project this size, I would need all of that at least. To repair the mistakes in the existing barn, I could get by without those."

"Well if I can manage to get hold of those things and get them shipped here, would you do the new barn?"

"Yes. I would enjoy that actually."

"On Saturday, you will go into town with me, and we will stop by the mercantile to see if he can order these things. If not, I'll have to make the purchases the next time I head to San Francisco. I have investments there and periodically have to go there to look things over and sign a few papers. Most of what needs to be done is taken care of by my sister there and our lawyer but not all. Have you ever been there? Wonderful city. Great restaurants, theatres, and bookstores."

Adam had looked down at that last part. Reg realized he had made him uncomfortable for some reason and felt sorry about that.

"Well enough of my rambling. How about dinner? Chun Kit prepares some wonderful meals, and it is a shame not to share with others. Bud has dinner here frequently, but otherwise I dine alone. Chun Kit is the best bet I have as to my cook's name. I speak no Chinese and he speaks very little English. We use signs and gestures a lot to communicate. But he seems to know what to do most of the time without me telling him so my assumption has been that he worked for someone else before me. I picked him up in Laramie. Some thugs were beating him, and I stopped them, and he wouldn't leave my side after that."

Adam followed Reg to the dining room and found three place settings. The knock on the door answered any questions as Bud entered the dining room as well. Reg informed Bud that Adam would draw plans for the barns and that meant they could keep all the men on for the winter as a building crew and that news Bud said would certainly go over well in the bunkhouse. The three men had an enjoyable dinner and discussions ranged from politics to cattle to horses and finished on education. Reg said his sister would join him here soon because her youngest had finally finished school. The two of them would be at the ranch before winter.

"She said she's looking for some peace and solitude. Well she'll certainly get a good dose of that in a Wyoming winter."

After dinner drinks followed, and then as Reg walked his guests to the door to bid them good night, he reminded Adam of the trip to town on Saturday and that on Sunday he was welcome to read in the library. Bud looked at him with more appreciation than ever before. He had sat through dinner and after as comfortably as any man he had ever seen. Despite it being his first time there, he acted like it was an everyday occurrence. It had taken Bud months to get relaxed having dinner with the boss. More and more, Bud came to believe that Adam was the missing Cartwright but still couldn't see the resemblance to that sketch in the newspaper. Maybe if he got that shaving kit and used it, the mystery would be solved. He had trimmed his hair but it was still long. He had also trimmed the beard back so that it was much neater but again, it still hid his features. He certainly did look like he might be trying to hide his identity, but Bud still didn't know why. If that article was correct, he was no longer considered guilty of a crime by anyone. So he wondered why he would still want to hide away here in Wyoming when his family had that huge ranch in Nevada. He knew there must be some part of that story he was missing if this in fact was Adam Cartwright.

 

Chapter 5

On the Ponderosa in September, Ben had some visitors from the Pinkerton agency. He had retained them after earlier investigators came up with nothing in their search for Adam. This was the same agency that he and his sons had hired to look into Adam's case previously because none of them could reconcile the Adam they knew with what Hoss and Joe saw and what Adam had been convicted of doing. After more than a year of investigating including some undercover work, they had uncovered Tom Burns and the trap that he had sprung on Adam. It would have been unbelievable but the authorities got a look at Tom Burns dressed in black. He would have and did of course fool Adam's own family. Burns had no cause to renege on the statements he had made to undercover operatives. Because of the myriad of crimes he had committed, he would hang, and it wasn't likely he would be believed anyway. When the attorney general presented the case to the governor, the governor immediately ordered that Adam be released and his records expunged. No one unfortunately realized that Adam would leave prison without knowing what had happened to get him into prison and what had gotten him out. He disappeared before his family and Roy could let him know what happened. After the Territorial Enterprise had dug up some of the details from guards of what had happened to Adam in prison, his family was desperate to find him.

So far the Pinkerton agents had had no luck in finding anyone in Wyoming or Idaho who fit Adam's description, resembled the sketch, or was using that name. They returned to the Cartwrights to interview them about Adam to get more information to refine their search. Ben and his sons were told that the costs of such an investigation would be prohibitive and could conceivably cost tens of thousands of dollars in wages and expenses if pursued until results were achieved, but the Cartwrights were vehement that the search must continue. Adam's training as an architect and an engineer, his fast gun, all black clothing choices, silver band on his hat, the love of books and music especially playing the guitar, and anything else they could think of was added to the Pinkerton arsenal. Finally Joe remembered that he may have left with a man named Bud.

By October, the Pinkerton agents returned to the Ponderosa. They had a lead.

"There is a possibility that your son is working on the Castle Ranch in Wyoming. There is a long haired bearded ranch hand named Adam Black working there but he doesn't fit the description nor the sketch we have."

"Then why would you think it could be him?"

"Mr. Cartwright, the other things add up to a solid lead but I can't tell you that this is your son only that it may be. The foreman is named Bud Knight. People wouldn't talk much about this Adam Black and when we saw him in the mercantile, he hardly said a word. He was trying out pistols and selected guns apparently for balance and grip from the case. After he had a selection, he picked the plainest one of the bunch and handed over the cash for that and a plain leather holster."

"That's not much to go on."

"Mr. Davis is somewhat talkative. We found that the Castle Ranch recently ordered drafting tools, a drafting table, and drafting supplies which Mr. Davis found highly extravagant for the owner whose degree is in law. This is our best lead and our only one, frankly."

"Pa, we should go."

"Joseph, I can't go until I get these splints off my leg. I can't possibly let you and Hoss go because at least one of you needs to be here to run the ranch. I can do the ledgers and the paperwork, but Paul said this broken leg will need at least six more weeks to heal."

"Then I'll go."

"Hey Joe, maybe I oughta go. Adam and I always got on better than you and him did."

"All the more reason I should go. He probably feels worse about you testifying against him than he does me. I was acting like such a jackass that he probably expected so little of me, it didn't surprise him."

That made Hoss feel all the worse about what had happened. "Dadburnit, I only said what I thought I saw. I only wish we had gone to see him in jail. That dadblamed prosecutor wouldn't let us see him, and then that prison wagon came earlier than we thought. Nobody thought to tell Adam we were in Carson City trying to get him clemency when he got dragged away from us. Dang governor took his own sweet time seeing us. Ifn he'd seen us right away, we coulda been back and seen Adam."

Thinking perhaps the family could use an intermediary, the Pinkerton man made an offer. "Mr. Cartwright, perhaps our agent could contact him and ask some questions?"

"No, I'm afraid he might bolt and run if he thought we were that close to him. There are reasons why he doesn't want to be found and why he hasn't contacted us. Maybe if Joe shows up there to talk with him, he may be willing to listen. Thank you for the report. Send your final bill. We'll handle it from here on out."

Ben, Hoss, and Joe spent some time discussing what they should do and how. They got together all the reports that they had from the Pinkertons on the Tom Burns investigation, the court proceedings that had cleared Adam, and the article in the Territorial Enterprise which had told the whole terrible story. Each time when they had tried to visit Adam in prison to let him know what was happening, they had been told that he was in solitary confinement. Now hopefully they could tell him all the things he needed to know and perhaps it would help him forgive them someday. Finally Ben told them all to get a good night's sleep and that they would see Joe off in the morning hopefully to bring Adam home or at least get a start on bringing him back.

 

Chapter 6

In Wyoming, Mr. Castle's sister, Marlee, and nephew, Robert, arrived. Her full name was Marlena Mavis Castle Burke but no one dared call her Marlena. Neither Reg nor Marlee appreciated their parents' choices for names for their offspring. Their brother Hank or Hiram Temple Castle felt the same way. All of them had named their children with ordinary names that would draw no special harassment from other children or snickers from adults. Reg's daughter chose to remain living in California as did Hank's and Marlee's children except for Robert who had an intense interest in the frontier although he had never lived there. This winter would be a test to see if he wanted to do so in the future. His father was deceased so Uncle Reg was a father figure to him as was his Uncle Hank. But Hank still had children of his own and not much time to give to his nephew. Marlee hoped that Robert would like it well enough to live there for two years until he was of an age to consider going to a college or university.

One late fall day as Adam was reading in the library, Robert wandered in surprised to see a long-haired bearded ranch hand reading a Dickens novel. Once he overcame his surprise and introduced himself, he and Adam indulged in a spirited discussion of the merits or faults of each Dickens novel, which they had read. When they exhausted that topic, they discussed Whitman, which Robert was too embarrassed to discuss with his mother, but Adam seemed at ease with any discussion. When Robert heard his mother calling, he responded that he was in the library. As soon as she entered, Adam quickly gave his regrets and left. He was surprised to know Marlee except he knew her as Mrs. Burke, the wife of a man with whom the Ponderosa had done business for years. He was shaken by the incident and a little short with the men in the bunkhouse who decided to leave him alone to recline on his bunk after a few snappy lines he delivered in response to any overtures. Invited to dine with the family that evening, he declined which caused Bud to give him a long evaluating look.

The next day, Adam was in Reg's study working on plans for the new barn when Marlee walked in. Again he quickly gave his regrets and retreated. Later Adam was in the barn supervising the men who were building the interior supports for the load bearing walls. As he issued instructions and helped measure the pieces needed, Marlee entered the barn.

"Adam Cartwright, what kind of game are you playing here?"

Adam dropped his shoulders in defeat. He turned to look at Marlee but had nothing to say. She issued another dinner invitation and said he was not free to decline as it was the boss' order that he attend. When he finished work that afternoon, he returned to the bunkhouse and cut his hair and shaved his beard. There was no point to it any more. Bud asked if he could help a bit to even out the haircut and Adam accepted. Then he washed and put on a clean shirt and pants before he and Bud headed up to the main house for dinner.

Marlee answered the door.

"Well, now you do look more like yourself. Except of course that I remember that unless you were in formal wear, you wore all black, had your sleeves rolled up to your elbows, and always had the top few buttons of your shirt open all of which scandalized the more proper ladies. But that never bothered you before now."

Adam said nothing but nodded his head. This was new territory and he wasn't prepared to deal with it yet. Marlee had read the stories of his conviction and imprisonment. She had been shocked as she couldn't believe he would have ever harmed a woman much less a child. When the most recent story was republished from the Territorial Enterprise into a number of California newspapers, it renewed her faith in her own judgment. She had not until today realized the impact of what had happened to the man she knew with the dazzling smile and the overwhelming confidence that some had taken for arrogance. It wasn't. It was just that he was always so sure of himself and what he was doing. Now he looked like a shadow of that man in many ways as it was clear that the confidence was gone.

"I'm sorry about Mr. Burke. He was a remarkable man. Reg told me his sister was a widow for almost two years now and now that I realize that it is you, I must offer my condolences."

Marlee nodded an acceptance of his comments and guided the two men to the dining room. At dinner everyone was polite, and no one interrogated Adam. They were giving him some time to adjust to the new circumstances. Bud had told him in the bunkhouse that he and Mr. Castle has suspected he was Adam Cartwright, and that they had read his story in the Territorial Enterprise. Adam was surprised at that and extended his appreciation that they had respected his privacy. He also asked if he could read that article sometime if they still had it, and Bud said he thought Mr. Castle likely still had it. Robert was sixteen and not as tactful at dinner as the others though. Reg and his mother had briefed him on Adam's story.

"Why don't you just buy your own ranch if you don't want to go back to Nevada?"

"Can't buy much on thirty dollars a month."

Robert sat with a quizzical look on his face wondering how a Cartwright had to live on thirty dollars a month. Frankly the others had the same thought. Once the wall was breached it seemed there was no reason not to just lay it all out for them.

"When I was arrested, my access to the Ponderosa accounts was severed. I had to liquidate some assets at a great loss just to pay an attorney. Once I was convicted and sentenced, Ann's sister, Darcy, and her husband sued me for damages. I thought I was going to be in prison for life without a need or use for material wealth, so I didn't fight it not that it would have mattered anyway. She and her husband got everything."

"You could sue now to have the property returned."

"Reg, I'm sorry, but if I never see the inside of a courtroom again, it will make me very happy. I don't ever want to walk into a courtroom again for any reason. A protracted legal battle is not something I want to be a part of. Perhaps in the future I can make more money as an architect or mining engineer. For now, I would just like some time to get my life back to normal."

So for the rest of the evening, that is what they tried to do. They talked about all sorts of normal things. Robert asked if Adam might start teaching him some things about architecture. When he told Adam that he loved mathematics and that he would stroll the streets of San Francisco sometimes admiring and sketching some of the great buildings, a budding friendship grew significantly. By the time the evening had ended, Adam was more comfortable with the family knowing his story. Next up was the task of telling the men in the bunkhouse. He wasn't sure how that was going to go but hoped they would still want to be his friends.

Once he and Bud returned to the bunkhouse, there were whistles and catcalls at Adam's new appearance and how 'pretty' he was. That comment created some tension as the glower that appeared on Adam's face was actually scary. Bud just said to him that they didn't understand, and he calmed down. Then Adam sat in a chair at the table in the center of the room and asked if they had questions. He said he had answers, but he wouldn't answer some questions and they would know which ones they were because he would ignore them. After more than an hour of questions and answers, the hands all seemed satisfied but a little grumpy too. That was answered when Newt pulled a bean can out from under his pillow and handed it to Bud who extracted a roll of bills from it.

"We had bets on what your story was and I won."

"I'm not sure that's fair considering you had inside information."

"Okay, you're right. I'll use it to buy the first round on Saturday night. And maybe with what's left, I can spend a little time with that new bar maid. She sure is a pretty one for around here."

With laughter and a few well-placed barbs, the men all turned in for the night. Adam relaxed more than he had in over two years. Real freedom sure felt good to him. But even then, questions he had been asked nagged at him as he wondered why his brothers lied about him which had hurt him even more than his father's rejection of him. It bothered him too that he didn't know why some of the citizens of Virginia City were so anxious to lynch him that night, and why didn't he have a single visitor in two years in prison. All of that had hurt him so deeply and scarred the inside as much as the physical scars marked him on the outside.

 

Chapter 7

Early the next morning, Marlee was up early. It was an unusually warm October morning and she thought a stroll around her brother's property would be a grand way to start the day. As she walked through the downstairs, she could hear Chun Kit already hard at work in the kitchen so there would be a breakfast waiting for her when she returned. She walked a circuit of the house and thought that Reg ought to think about some shrubs or flowers to brighten the place because she found it much too plain. Then again, his wife had died years ago so it was probably a surprise that the house was as well decorated inside as it was even if the outside needed to be spruced up to show it off a bit more. Perhaps Adam could make some suggestions for that as he had always impressed her as having an eye for beauty. With that in mind, she walked toward the bunkhouse. When she saw Bud, she asked him where Adam was, and he indicated he was still in the washroom at the back of the bunkhouse so she headed there. What she saw as she opened the washroom door made her pause almost in shock for two reasons. Adam stood there with his shirt off wiping his face after shaving but the sight of numerous scars caused her mouth to drop open. That and of course the sheer masculine aura he gave standing there like that had a major impact on her as well.

"I could remind you to knock, but it looks like you got a good enough scare that you will likely remember your manners in the future."

There was that famous smirk. Marlee walked closer to him and touched the scar on his neck. Adam took her hand and pulled it down from his neck, and she pressed her hand on his chest.

"I am so sorry. I read the stories. But I never realized what the effect on you was."

Marlee kept one hand on his chest and with the other, she caressed his cheek.

"I am so sorry that all of this happened to you. You never deserved any of this. I would do anything if I could take some of the hurt away."

Adam gently took her hands in his and lowered them between them. He was touched in many ways. Her genuine sorrow at the pain he had suffered breached his defensive walls that had never been higher. The other reason was that he was shirtless, and he was being touched by a beautiful woman he liked very much. He hadn't been touched by a woman in well over two years, and the pain of his loss hit him then again.

"Aren't you a little afraid of what you are doing here with a half naked man who spent the last two years in prison?"

"I would never be afraid of you."

Marlee stepped a little closer to Adam but an 'Ahem' from the door halted any further interaction.

"Marlee, I was wondering where you had gone. Breakfast is ready and everyone is waiting."

Reg stood at the open door and waited. Marlee turned to leave.

"Please come to the house for lunch. It's such a lovely day; we'll eat on the porch. We can talk."

Adam nodded, and Marlee walked away with Reg.

"Aren't you worried about trifling with that man? He has lost a lot in the last few years, and he doesn't need to get involved with a dying woman."

"Well I can see the Wyoming experience has done nothing to soften your bluntness. I am not 'trifling' with him. I will tell him everything. But maybe our two wounded souls can find some comfort with each other."

"You seem to know him very well and like him even more."

"He visited our home often on business trips. And for your information, he was always a perfect gentleman so don't get any ideas that there was ever anything between us other than admiration and friendship. He and Randall got along very well, and Adam is a man who will treat a woman with respect and listen to her ideas so I did look forward to his visits."

"Just be careful. I find that I like him very much too, and I would hate to see him hurt any more especially by a member of my family. On another topic: have you told Robert yet?"

"Yes and no. I have let him know that I am ill and that the trip here is because of that. I have not yet told him that there is no hope that I will get better. I want him to get used to the first part of what I told him which he has handled well. Soon, I need to tell him the rest. It may have to be this morning. I have to tell him before I say anything to Adam."

After the encounter with Marlee, Adam had some trouble keeping his mind on his work that morning. Bud punched him in the shoulder once as he was daydreaming and asked if there was something that needed doing before they all ended work for the day. Adam looked up to see the whole building crew looking to him for instructions and smiling at his discomfiture. That helped him focus until it was nearing time for lunch. If his conclusions were correct, Marlee was offering a lot more than lunch and conversation in their relationship. He wasn't sure how he felt about that yet, and left open the possibility that he was wrong and she just wanted friendship. Friendship he thought he could give without reservation so for the moment he decided to think that's all it was.

Before heading up to the house for lunch, Adam cleaned up a little, but supervising building was a lot less dirty than working cattle so he was presentable with little effort. Marlee greeted him from the porch where she was already seated with a warm wrap around her. As Adam approached the table, she stood and kissed him. It was a gentle kiss and in no way demanding. But it was still more than what friends would do, and he had a hard time resisting the urge to wrap his arms around her and press her body to his. With reluctance, he stepped away from her to sit at the table. As he turned his eyes away from her, Marlee worried that she had been too aggressive.

"I hope you weren't offended by that. It's just that I didn't want to waste any of the time I have left."

"That sounds ominous."

"My heart beats too slowly, and there's nothing to be done for it. I have tried an herbal remedy, but it seemed to have no effect. It has been getting worse, and the doctors have told me that perhaps within months, they think that some time when I am sleeping, it will simply slow down too much, and that will be it. Reg knows, and I told Robert this morning."

"I don't understand why you kissed me then. What can happen between us? Shouldn't you be resting in bed if you have a bad heart?"

"I like you, and you like me so I thought perhaps we could take some comfort with each other. People who have a fast heart rate often are told to rest. With me, I get tired and sometimes dizzy and then I know the heart rate is slow without checking. Right now I feel fine, and most of the day, I feel fine. I can participate in all my normal activities. That doesn't change the final outcome I can expect though."

"That Castle bluntness seems to be a family trait."

It was a quandary. Adam needed some time to process this new information. On the one hand, he didn't want to take advantage of a woman who was ill, but she was the one who had made the offer. On the other hand, he wasn't sure it was a good idea for him to become involved with the boss' sister.

"You don't have to decide anything now. We'll have lunch. And then perhaps a short stroll before you return to work?"

Lunch was simple but pleasant, and they talked about how they had first met and what their first impressions of each other had been. After lunch, they strolled to a grove of trees behind the house. Reg had placed some benches there. As they sat on the bench, Adam put his arm around Marlee's shoulders, and she leaned into his soft embrace. They talked of San Francisco's theatres and bookstores, of her daughters, of Reg's ranch, and Robert's intelligence and talents. Finally Adam indicated it was time for him to return to work. As they stood, he leaned down and reciprocated the gentle kiss Marlee had given him earlier.

"If we can do this again, I would be comfortable with it. I don't know if I can offer more. My heart, my mind, and my body all seem to have different opinions on what I should do."

"If this is what you're comfortable with for now, I am happy to say I would enjoy each day so much more if we could continue like this."

Arm in arm, they walked to the house where Adam said goodbye and returned to work. From his study, Reg had witnessed the kiss and part of their walk back. He nodded to himself. They looked relaxed and at ease with each other. Perhaps this would be good for both of them.

For the next month, most days continued in the same routine. Adam and the building crew continued work on reinforcing the stable barn and extending it. The frame extension went right through the existing back wall of the barn as they removed small sections to allow that. The plan was to finish the extension of the barn except for the back wall. When the walls were done and the roof was finished, the back wall of the old barn would be removed and made into the back wall of the larger barn. Then during the middle of the winter, they would construct the stalls and pens in the barn and add hardware. By spring, Reg would be able to add horses to his herd, and outside corrals would be added. If the snows would hold off long enough, they were hoping to frame up the second barn as well so that it could be completed by the following fall. All of the timbers needed for that project were stacked in place and ready to go.

Adam joined Marlee and sometimes Robert and Reg as well for lunch. Weather permitting, he and Marlee would take a stroll. Otherwise, they would retire to the library and visit with Robert who often was found reading there. Adam and Bud joined the family for dinner each evening. After dinner, there were a variety of activities. Robert was excited to learn that Adam was good at chess, and they played often when they weren't discussing the latest book. Reg sometimes discussed investments with Adam to get his input. Often all of them would discuss politics, religion, or any number of other topics.

Robert was finding that he did not find Wyoming boring as his urban cousins had warned him it would be. He was learning to ride with help from Reg, Bud, and Adam. He could work with Adam on the building plans and saw what was needed in a construction plan. Adam would even listen to his suggestions and evaluate their merit. The men in the building crew let him help and showed him how to do what they were doing. Reg was giving him one-on-one tutelage in investing and banking. His worries about his mother were the only difficult part of life in Wyoming, but he knew it would be the same in the city so that didn't really matter. And he did notice that his mother was happier here than she had been and he attributed that to the attention that Adam paid to her. He liked Adam so that was no problem either.

Everything seemed to working well for Adam too until the late October day he walked out of the barn to see a familiar pinto pony tied up in front of the main house. He didn't want to see Joe there with the whole Castle family. He walked to the bunkhouse and sat on his bunk. He had known that this day would probably come but was amazed they had found him so soon. He sat and tried to get his heart rate and breathing back to normal but realized too that it was a waste of his effort. As soon as he saw Joe or heard his voice, his anxiety would rise again anyway. He knew he wasn't ready for this, and yet part of him wanted to confront his brother.

Adam got a small reprieve. Bud walked into the bunkhouse to let him know that Reg had told Joe to go to town, rent a room, and wait to be contacted. Joe had left a packet of reading material for Adam. Bud informed Adam that Reg said he was welcome to use the library or study to read through the thick packet if he wished for privacy. He could lock the door and no one would disturb him. Adam took the proffered package from Bud and without saying a word, walked to the house. He knocked and Marlee was there to open the door, but she stood aside as he entered and walked to the study. She told him that there would be coffee if he wanted it.

Hours later Adam was sitting and trying to digest all that he had read. Tom Burns had been alive and plotted against Ann and him. His brothers saw Tom and thought it was him. That he could accept, but when they learned of Ann's rape and murder and the murder of Jacob, why didn't they believe it could not have been him? Why did they stick to the story that it was him they saw leaving Ann's house that night. He just couldn't get past that part. That's the evidence that got him convicted, and he never heard them even waver in the courtroom as their words took everything from him. He understood that their misgivings had caused them to hire investigators who finally maneuvered Burns into admitting his guilt. That evidence led to his release from prison, but it would not have been necessary if they had trusted him, believed in him. His father believed his brothers and not him. How could he believe that Adam was capable of such horrendous acts? How could any of them think that he could harm a woman or a child? He needed to talk with someone about this but didn't know that he had the right to burden anyone with so much. He didn't have to though because Reg and Marlee came to the study and asked if he wanted to talk. He couldn't say no. With some gentle prodding, he told them the questions he had after he told them what was in the reports he had read. Marlee held his hand as she sat beside him, but it was Reg who offered some possible reasons for what had happened.

"Your brothers didn't know that Tom Burns existed when they testified it was you. They called your name to a man who looked exactly like you and responded to that name. They had no reason to question that it was you. What they had to question was why you would deny that it was you there that night. It must have created great doubt in their minds as to what was going on. All they could say was what they saw. It was all the prosecutor needed too. It was the perfect set-up. As a lawyer, if I was prosecuting a case, that would be the thing I would like to be able to present to a jury."

"But no one came to see me in the jail."

"The prosecutor would not have allowed the witnesses to see you. According to what is in those reports, there were instructions from you for your father not to visit you."

"I never gave any such instructions."

"Adam, someone created a conspiracy to have you hang. It didn't work out quite as they intended. Now who would have hated you so much that they would have wanted you to hang that they would have killed Ann and Jacob to make that happen?"

"I don't know. I did have people arrested, and some of them were executed. Maybe someone in one of those families did it. I have no way of knowing."

"They had to find someone who looked like you, finance the whole thing, and know you very well. It seems like it might be closer to home than that. They took in the whole town not only your family."

Adam was sure his father and brothers wanted absolution from him. Well he could forgive them, but he could not absolve them of their guilt. That they would have to carry until they could find a way, if they could, to forgive themselves. If he had done something like it, he didn't know if he could ever forgive himself. They probably wanted him to return to the Ponderosa too, but that was not going to happen at least not at this time. He could forgive, but he could not forget. They were going to have to face their guilt because he could do nothing about that either and he had to wonder how they would feel about having him there as a constant reminder of their failings. He asked for more time to look over the material. As he had more of these thoughts near eleven, there was a gentle knock on the door.

"Adam, I am sorry to disturb you, but do you want anything to eat, or coffee? You haven't had anything since lunch."

After Adam walked to the door and opened it, he held out his arms and Marlee stepped into his embrace. He couldn't talk. He lowered his head to her shoulder and they stood that way for a time. Then he pulled her into the room and walked with her to the leather couch in front of the fireplace.

"Would you sit with me for a time? I don't want to talk any more, but I'd rather not be alone right now either."

That's where Reg found them the next morning. Both were asleep with Adam's arm around Marlee's shoulders as her head rested against Adam's chest and his cheek rested atop her head. Maybe Marlee was right that these two wounded souls could comfort each other. Reg knew there was more heartache and trouble ahead for them so it was good that they found some solace together.

 

Chapter 8

In town, Joe had found a room above the saloon and ordered a meal and ate in the saloon. There was no other restaurant or hotel in town. He went to the mercantile and picked up a pair of socks, a new shirt, and a bar of soap. It was the only store there too. He asked if there was a telegraph office, and Mr. Davis said there was right there in the store. He walked over and opened a door to an office. Joe wrote a simple message to his father and Hoss.

"It's him. Stop. He's safe. Stop. Haven't met with him yet. Stop. Will send word when I do. Stop. Joe."

It was an expensive telegram to send, but Joe thought his family needed to know that much. Although very disappointed that he had not been able to meet with Adam nor even see him, Joe was happy to know that he had found him, and he was safe. He was also concerned that the people at the Castle Ranch all seemed to know that Adam Black was in fact Adam Cartwright, but no one in town had known when he had asked about him earlier that day. He had hoped to be with Adam as he read through all those documents and perhaps help explain some things. He thought too that he should have left the other package with a few small things from the Ponderosa but things that would be meaningful to Adam like his mother's music box, her Bible, and the novel autographed by Dickens. His father had also had an artist make copies of their mother's photographs and there was a miniature of Adam's mother there in that package too. If he didn't hear from Adam by tomorrow, he would deliver the second package as well.

There was no need to make the second trip though. A hand from the Castle Ranch delivered a message in the early morning. Adam would be in town before one and wanted to meet Joe at the saloon. Joe sat by the window of the saloon by noon and waited to see his brother. He didn't pay attention when a cowboy rode up and tied his horse to the rail out front and walked in until he heard his name and turned to see Adam standing just inside the door. He looked like he was ready to bolt and run. Joe wisely kept to his seat and motioned for Adam to join him. Adam walked over and sat but never removed his hat or his coat. Joe would not have known him. He wore brown striped pants and a gray shirt buttoned to the neck. His heavy coat was a dark burgundy and he had on a nondescript slouch hat. His boots were dusty. He was clean-shaven and his hair was trimmed but still quite a bit longer than he was used to seeing on his brother. It curled over his ears and the collar of his shirt. The eyes were the same and bore into him with the intensity he remembered.

Adam removed his gloves and folded his arms as he sat in the chair and contemplated his brother.

"Adam, I imagine you have a lot of things you want to say to me. You have to know how sorry I am. We are all so sorry. We paid a lot to get those investigations done to get you out of prison and to find you now."

"Do you think that money has any comparison to what I paid?"

Joe had no answer to that. He knew Adam was right, but he wanted him to know that they had done all they could. He didn't know how to tell him that. Instead decided to let Adam take the lead because his opening remarks had not worked out well.

"Are there any questions you'd like to ask me?"

Joe expected there might be questions about all the documents that he handed over to Adam the day before. The question he got though felt like a punch in the gut.

"Why did you lie about me in court?"

"Adam, it wasn't a lie even if it turned out not to be true. We said what we thought we saw. We thought that was you there that night. He looked like you, he dressed like you, and he even turned when we called your name, and he even gave a wave before he walked around the side of that house."

"When you knew what happened in that house, why didn't you decide it could not have been me?"

"We didn't think you did that of course. But it seemed you were lying about being there. We just didn't know the whole story. Can you forgive us for being stupid about that? We told the prosecutor that it couldn't have been you who killed them, but he said we couldn't say that in court. We were hoping your lawyer would ask us some questions that would let us explain that, but he never did."

"Maybe because I had the worst lawyer available?"

"Hoss and I wondered about that. Why didn't you hire a better lawyer? There were lots of people saying it made you look guilty that you didn't hire one of the lawyers in good standing in town."

"Maybe having my access to the Ponderosa accounts severed had something to do with that, but none of those lawyers who had ever done business with your family would take my case. Of course, I didn't have much money to pay them either. Being in jail charged with murder and desperate for funds put me in a rather tough position when I sold off the investments I could to get cash. I got about ten percent of what they were worth. It wasn't enough to hire an attorney from somewhere else and pay expenses. So I got to be defended by a lawyer with almost no courtroom experience. Not that having a better lawyer would have done much good anyway after you and Hoss testified."

"I never knew you were strapped for cash."

"Your father did. Who could have told all those lawyers not to take my case? No one visited me in jail so it was pretty clear what the opinion of me was."

"That new prosecutor said we couldn't because we were witnesses for the prosecution."

"Your father could have visited."

Joe was starting to get mad now. "It's your father and your family too! You can't just keep referring to us like we aren't your family. Pa said he was putting pressure on you so you would tell everyone what you had been up to that night. He believed us when we told him we saw you there. He wanted you to explain that. He never thought you killed Ann and Jacob. We thought you were lying about being there and couldn't understand why you would do that." As Joe spoke, he realized how awful that sounded to Adam. In fact, it sounded pretty awful to him too. They had not shown any trust in Adam at all. They had not believed him at all.

"From the look on your face, I guess you're beginning to understand. How would you feel if the people who should have been your greatest support gave none and showed no trust in you when you needed them most. I never had a chance. I was devastated by losing Ann and Jacob. I lost everything I had left in that courtroom. Nothing you do can will give back to me the most precious things I lost. I lost more and more in that prison. That can never be fixed either."

"Maybe if you could come back to the Ponderosa, we could work on it."

"That's not going to happen. I can forgive you, but I can't forget what happened. Neither can you. Every time you look at me, it would be the same look that you have now. You would feel guilt. Every time you looked at me, it would eat at you. Eventually, you would blame me for that too."

"I promise you, Adam, that wouldn't happen. We would learn to trust again. There's just the three of us and Hop Sing. We could take all the time we needed."

"Just the three of you?"

Joe dropped his head. He hadn't meant to bring that up so soon.

"Marie died in childbirth. The baby didn't survive either. Hoss nearly died from grief, and it only got worse when Will came back and took Laura and Joshua away. We were so sure he was dead. The stories we had heard from Mexico all said he was dead in the fighting there. Hoss and the children live at the house now."

Adam looked at Joe and expected the rest of the story. Joe had that same guilty look he had had since he was a young boy and really messed up. He didn't ask any questions. He knew the nervous energy would force Joe to reveal his story soon and he wasn't disappointed.

"I, ahh, was indiscreet and Rachel found out. I had too much to drink and spent some time with another woman. Rachel took the children and moved into town. I couldn't take the girls away from their mother or split the children up. I get to see them on Sundays when I'm there. She's seeing somebody now though, and I'm afraid she'll divorce me if I let her, marry him, and move away."

"Joe, I'm not going back with you. I may never go back there. It's not just the problems with the family. I don't want to deal with all the people in town who thought me guilty of horrific acts. I remember who a lot of the men were who tried to lynch me. What would I do if I came face to face with them on the street or in the saloon? I would have to take care of myself because I won't trust anyone to do it for me any more. I don't have the money to do that in Virginia City. I don't here either, but there are no threats to me here."

"Adam, we really want to see you come back."

"Then why is it only you here asking?"

"Pa's got a broken leg, and Hoss had to stay cause somebody had to take care of the ranch."

"Ah, yes, of course, someone had to take care of the ranch."

"Dammit, Adam, you make it sound like we think the ranch is more important than you are, and that just isn't true."

"Joe, we each said what we were thinking, and now I have to get back to the ranch. Don't try any of your schemes to get me to come back. I won't." Even though Adam had more questions, he didn't want to ask because he suspected the answers would be just as unsatisfactory as what had already been discussed. To him, it was time to end this.

"Can we come visit you here?"

"If you want, I won't run away. I'll be here for a while yet. I have no plans to leave."

Joe handed the other parcel to Adam. "We got together some things we thought you ought to have if you weren't coming back."

Accepting the parcel, Adam turned and walked outside where he put the parcel in a saddle bag. He mounted up and rode slowly out of the little town. Joe walked with his head down to the mercantile to have Mr. Davis send a telegram. This one was going to be awfully hard to send, but at least he could say that Adam was well and safe even if he wasn't coming home and that Joe was heading home alone. He knew his father and Hoss would be disappointed, but they had known that it wasn't going to be easy to convince Adam to come home after how they had treated him. They were going to have to do a lot more to begin to build the trust back before he would likely even consider a return.

 

Chapter 9

As Adam returned to the Castle Ranch, there were a number of people anxious to see how he was doing. The only one brave enough to force the issue was Marlee. As he was in the barn unsaddling his horse, Marlee walked in and stood watching him for a moment. He looked upset but not as much as she thought he might.

"Well if you want to talk with me, you better walk over here because I will not shout across the barn."

Marlee smiled. He couldn't be too upset if he could talk like that. She walked over and stood next to Adam. He glanced at her as he finished with his horse. He was developing some strong feelings for her and really didn't know what he should be doing about that. There was no future for them, but he had found that the future was never sure anyway. He had thought he knew his future a couple of years ago and what happened was so far from what he had ever even considered that he wasn't sure planning for the future made any sense at all. He finished with his horse as he threw a blanket over its back, and then he turned and pulled Marlee into an embrace. As she wrapped her arms around him, he leaned down to kiss her but this kiss was not one of the gentle kisses they had been exchanging. This kiss was passionate and full of desire. Marlee wrapped her arms around his neck and surrendered into his embrace. As he held her close to him, he pressed his face into her hair and whispered in her ear.

"Thank God, I've been wanting to do this since that first lunch on the porch."

Marlee leaned back and looked at him. "Aren't you the devious one. I thought I might have offended you, and now you tell me you wanted more?"

"What was I to do? Grab you in my arms and lift you up, say I was going to ravish you, and then kick open the door and carry you to your bed like the stories in those trashy novels you read when you think no one is noticing."

Marlee blushed at that. She had no idea Adam knew she read those novels, but they were such fun to read sometimes, she couldn't help herself. "How did you know that? Did you spy on me when I was reading? Sneak up and peek over my shoulder to see it hidden behind a respectable book?" Marlee was smiling now but still wondering how he knew this.

Adam grinned at her with delight in her reaction. "Robert told me. He thought it was very funny. Reg heard us talking so he knows too. Your little secret is out."

"Well I do read other things. I even read that Whitman book although I can't discuss it with Robert like you do. Some of those things he makes reference to really get my mind roiling."

"There is something making my mind roil too but it isn't a book. It's you. You are so direct, so honest, so kind, I can't help feeling closer and closer to you."

"Don't say it, Adam, don't. There is no future for us. I don't want to do that to you."

"It's too late I think. Talking with Joe today, I realized I still love my family even though I don't like them too much right now. There is no trust. But you, I like you, I trust you, and I love you. I've said it and I can't take it back so you need to tell me how you feel."

"Oh Adam, wouldn't Shakespeare love our tragic tale. Finding love and knowing there is no time."

"There's time. We just don't know how much. Marry me."

Marlee gasped. How could he consider that? It could be over in months. She wondered why he would want to marry her.

"It doesn't have to be a legal marriage, but we need to have at least the religious ceremony. If we are married in the eyes of God, that's all that we need. Will you consider it? Please?"

"Why can't we just be together without a marriage? We are not children. We have lived and learned. We could enjoy whatever time we have and not worry. Reg won't mind, and I don't think it would bother Robert too much either as long as I'm happy."

"It would be wrong. I can't be with you and know you without marriage."

"Adam, you must have been with women without benefit of marriage before."

"I have, and it was wrong. I won't do that any more. I have found that all that I truly own is myself. If I am true to my beliefs and my values, no one can take my integrity and my honor away from me. I can lose it though and I won't. I have lost too much already."

"Adam, I don't know. I need to think about this." Marlee kissed Adam, and touched his face. "You are such a wonderful man. You deserve to be happy. All that may come from this is more unhappiness for you. It isn't fair."

"Think about it. You should talk to Reg. Talk to Robert if you think you should. I will accept your decision either way. We can continue the way we have been with each other, or we can have more. It's up to you."

"Thank you. I would hate to lose what we have now by saying no. I will let you know as soon as I can make a decision. Until then, friends?"

Adam smiled, nodded, and kissed her gently. "Very good friends, I believe." Then they walked from the barn. He went to the bunkhouse, and Marlee walked up to the house deep in thought. Reg saw her coming and thought that the expression on her face meant that Adam had been deeply upset by the meeting with his brother. Instead, Marlee recounted her conversation with Adam about the two of them.

"Perhaps you should do it, Marlee. He is good for you, and he loves you. You should grab the happiness you can. If I had the offer that Rebecca could be back with me but would leave unexpectedly within months perhaps, I would grab that chance without reservation. And he's right that a religious ceremony creates a marriage here in the west, but there will be no legal entanglements. Your children's inheritance will be safe."

Marlee had not even considered that but it was true. What Adam offered was good for her on so many levels, but she worried about what it could do to him. Reg saw the worried look on her face.

"Adam is a smart man. He's going into this with his eyes wide open. He knows better than you think what this means."

"But afterwards, he would probably leave here. Where would he go? What would he do?"

"Marlee, this was always just a stop on the road for Adam. He needed to recover from what was done to him. You should have seen him on the drive and after he got here from that drive last summer. He was quiet or almost taciturn. He didn't joke or laugh except in the most dry terms. He didn't open up to anyone about anything. No one knew anything about him, and he hid behind all that hair. Now I see a man out there barking orders to the building crew, laughing and joking with them, escorting my sister on walks to the woods, debating books with Robert, drawing elaborate blueprints for barns and corrals. Apparently even the meeting in town with his brother and all the negative feelings that had to bring up didn't seem to bother him that much. He is a man in control of his life again. He will leave here when he decides he wants more."

Marlee nodded and went to see Robert. Reg heard a loud whoop and knew she had told him. He wasn't surprised. Robert liked Adam, and they had both discussed how much happier she had been since she and Adam started spending time together. Anything that gave her happiness in these next months was good with both of them. The next thing he heard was the front door closing. As he looked out, he saw Marlee walking purposefully to the bunkhouse. Reg went to the kitchen to talk to Chun Kit about a big dinner. It would take a while to communicate what he needed, but it would be worth it.

The next week was bittersweet for Adam and Marlee. Both enjoyed all the excitement their announcement had created on the ranch. There was seldom anything interesting happening on the ranch in November and all anyone had to look forward to was a long hard winter. But this year, there were building projects to keep everyone busy, and a wedding to celebrate. Of course, there were a lot of jests and innuendo directed at Adam in the bunkhouse but all in good humor because the hands were genuinely happy for him. Bud was amazed at the transformation that had happened with Adam in less than six months. He felt he was getting to know the real Adam Cartwright, and saw why Marlee had fallen in love with him. But Marlee and Adam also knew that any joy they had was going to be short-lived as her diagnosis hung over their heads like the sword of Damocles.

On Saturday, after the minister administered the oaths, Adam kissed Marlee tenderly. They had decided to hold the ceremony in the barn so that everyone there could attend. Jackets and coats were the main wedding attire. The newly wed couple turned to face her family and the hands with tears in their eyes. Reg and Robert knew why but the others thought it was the wedding that was the cause. Newt even called out that Adam's days of being a bachelor had officially ended leading to raucous laughter from the rest of the hands. There was a celebration feast. Adam had helped Reg in explaining what was needed to Chun Kit who was gradually picking up more English under Adam's patient tutelage. When dinner was over, Reg and Robert pulled a large crate from an unused stall into the center of the barn. They asked Adam to open the gift. As Adam used a pry bar to open the end of the crate and pull out packing material, he realized what it was. He looked to Reg and Robert and wondered how they had gotten a guitar here in less than a week.

"We were planning on giving it to you for Christmas, but this was an opportunity we couldn't pass up."

"Yes, and I've always wanted to learn how to play so you can play for my mother and teach me."

Reg and Robert stood there with very self-satisfied grins on their faces. The hands all clamored for Adam to sing a song. He sat on a barrel and began tuning the guitar. When he was done, he turned to Marlee and played a soft tune and sang directly to her. Marlee walked over and stood at his side and beamed at him. She had no idea he could play and sing this well. Then at the insistence of the hands, he played and sang more lively tunes with many of them joining in when they knew the words. Hours passed as everyone enjoyed one of the best days they could remember.

Finally as twilight arrived, Reg, Robert, and Bud made some final toasts to the couple who took their leave to walk to the main house. Marlee was very nervous and wondered at that because she had been married for twenty years so there shouldn't have been any worries for her, but the thought of spending this night with Adam in her bed had butterflies in her stomach. Adam looked down at her and smiled.

"I can feel you shaking. You don't have to worry. I would never hurt you in any way."

"I know that. I am just so nervous about tonight. I feel like it is the first time which is silly I know, but I can't help feeling this way."

"Well it is the first time for us, and I have to admit to being a bit nervous myself."

That admission was probably what Marlee needed most at that time. It validated her concerns but also alleviated them at the same time. She smiled and wrapped her arm around Adam's waist. She felt secure in his arms and began to look forward even more to what awaited this night and the discoveries she would make. They would have a joyful joining physically that would mirror their emotional ties to each other. In her bedroom, she found Adam to be as gentle as a passionate man can be. Later as they lay wrapped in an embrace, she told him how much she appreciated the patience he had had with her. Then she rested her head on his shoulder, snuggled in to his side with his arm wrapped around her, and she fell into a sound sleep. Adam smiled at her and closed his eyes too, more relaxed than he had been for a long time. Everything felt so right finally.

Adam awoke on Sunday morning to breezes fluttering over his chest. It seemed odd because it was November and all the windows were shut tight. As he became more aware, he glanced down to see Marlee's head lying on his chest and she was blowing puffs of air over his chest.

"What are you doing?"

"Good morning to you too. Well you warned me about how you could awaken and that I needed to do it gently. You have all this hair and it moves like waves on the ocean when I blow across it. It's fun."

Adam shook his head and sighed.

"Is this how you plan to wake me every morning?"

"Oh no, I have been thinking of all sorts of ways to wake you." Marlee gave Adam a wicked grin and he reciprocated.

"You need to be careful of those choices. Some may have consequences."

"I was actually hoping that would be true. From what I can tell, there seems to be a consequence developing already this morning."

Laughing quietly, Adam rolled Marlee over and looked down at her before enveloping her in a passionate embrace and kiss. Downstairs Reg and Robert ate breakfast, diplomatically deciding that notifying the couple that breakfast was ready was probably not a good idea.

As Thanksgiving approached, Reg asked Adam if he had hunting experience and he said that he did. Reg wanted some of the men to hunt and bring in some birds or other wild game to have a Thanksgiving feast. Bud and some of the men were planning a hunting trip, and Reg hoped Adam would go and take Robert along. Adam agreed, and they both heard a loud 'Whoop' outside the doors of the study. Reg was thinking that there were even more benefits to Adam being part of the family. Robert needed a strong role model and there wasn't a better one than Adam.

After lunch, Adam took some time to teach Robert about shooting. Robert wasn't very good with a pistol, but when he had time, he was reasonably accurate with a rifle that was exceptional for someone with no experience, and he told him that. Marlee walked out to watch Robert practice and was again impressed by how well Robert got along with Adam. In interests and personality, Robert was more like Adam than his father.

That night, Adam helped Robert pack saddlebags with what he would need on the trip. Then in the bedroom that Adam shared with Marlee, he emptied his saddlebags to pack what he would need. Finally, he would open the package that Joe had given him weeks before. As he set the items on the bedside table, he sat on the bed and stared at them. That is how Marlee found him when she entered the room.

One by one, Adam showed each item to Marlee and explained its significance. The last item was his mother's music box. As Marlee admired the craftsmanship of it, she opened it and it played the melody that had soothed Adam for decades. Except this time it was not soothing. He had been holding in all the hurt, pain, anger, and love because he could not find a way to reconcile his conflicting feelings and thoughts. Marlee saw his anguished expression and asked him to tell her what he was thinking.

For perhaps the first time in his adult life, Adam let someone see the depth of his emotions. He found it hard to talk but accepted that no matter how great his problems were, Marlee's were greater. It gave him a perspective that allowed him to open up to her. He found that he could trust her because she had given absolute trust to him.

"I'm beginning to think that my brothers were outmatched by Tom Burns and the prosecutor. I judged them by what I would have done not by what their capabilities are. Perhaps I ought to think about giving them another chance."

"You have an amazing power of forgiveness. You may be the most Christian man I have ever met. To forgive those who have wronged you so much may help you too. But what of your father?"

Adam was silent. He found it nearly impossible to express his feelings about his father now. He felt betrayed but found it hard to believe too. He thought he understood what happened but the more he thought about it, the more inexplicable it became. Some things just didn't add up. Suspicious and skeptical by nature, he wondered if he was missing some pieces of the puzzle. He understood his father might have doubted his word because of what his brothers thought they saw. But why did he deny him funds for an attorney and why would he forbid attorneys to take his case? Were there other forces that were at work of which he was still unaware? He should have asked Joe more questions. Finally, step-by-step, he told Marlee what he had been thinking. She suggested he ought to talk to Reg, and Adam agreed that he should. Maybe his legal mind would have some ideas of how to unravel what was feeling like more and more of a mystery.

After Adam finished packing his saddlebags for the hunting trip, he was exhausted. It had been a long day and the emotional toll of his discussion with Marlee was significant. Every time he let himself dwell on what had happened to him, it left him feeling drained. He and Marlee agreed it was time to get some sleep. As she snuggled in next to him, she was surprised.

"You're not wearing anything!"

"This is how I prefer to sleep. I would have thought you knew that by now."

"No I thought it was the result of the, ahh, recreation every night for the last three weeks."

"Well yes it certainly does simplify that but it is also more comfortable. Nightshirts ride up, and long johns are constricting."

"It may make it very hard for me to sleep with you lying right next to me that way."

"Maybe we ought to try a little of that 'recreation' so that you can sleep better. I'm going to be gone for a few days and I would hate for you to be deprived. Come here."

Marlee rolled into Adam's arms and he kissed her, gently at first, and then more and more passionately as her excitement rose. With emotions on edge, their lovemaking that night was intense. After a short time with their bodies still entwined, they fell asleep as they did each night wrapped in each other's arms.

 

Chapter 10

The next morning, Adam, Robert, Bud, Newt, and Jake headed out toward the mountains to see if they could bring back some elk or other wild game. It would be a special Thanksgiving feast if they could. Before Adam left, he spent some time laying out his concerns to Reg about what had happened to him and his questions as to how it didn't seem to fit together because it seemed some of the pieces were missing. The more Reg heard, the more he seemed too to think there were some odd things that had happened. He agreed to think it through and see what ideas he had about what had happened. Before the hunting trip was over, he had some more information, but it only seemed to make the puzzle more confusing not less.

It was a successful hunt. Robert took down an elk and Adam bagged a large bull elk. The men packed the meat on packhorses using wood frames and arrived home on Wednesday. All the hands came to help them unpack the meat. Some was to be smoked and dried, but most was to be roasted outside over an open flame. The plan was to have a western frontier ranch Thanksgiving. There was a lot of activity as everyone pitched in to make it a special day. On Thursday, the weather was cool so the hands planned to eat in the bunkhouse and the family in the house but there was a lot of time they could share as they gathered outside around the large cook fires. Chun Kit made enough bread with fruit for all, and there were several potato dishes and beans. In addition there was apple pie for all. There was hot, spiced apple cider to drink as well as coffee. Everyone was in good spirits. The walls of the barn were done and they had started to frame the storage barn. It was a day when everyone was enjoying a day off from labor.

To Marlee, it seemed like this day would be one of the most special she had ever had. Then three men rode up the road toward the house, and as they came through the big gate entrance to the ranch yard, Marlee saw Adam put his hand to his forehead and grimace. This had to be his father and brothers. He had told them they could visit but apparently hadn't truly thought they would. Marlee walked to Adam and put her arm on his elbow.

"Let's go greet them. You have questions. Maybe they have answers."

As Adam looked at her, Marlee almost cried to see the pain in his expression. But as suddenly as a lightning strike, his features closed into a cold, hard look and he nodded at her.

"Adam, maybe this is a good time for them to visit. All your friends here are a buffer so that nothing too hard can happen today. It will give you time to get used to them being here perhaps."

"Maybe."

They walked over to the three men as they neared the crowd. Adam's greeting was not cordial.

"I'm surprised to see you."

"Adam, Joe talked to me about what you said. There're some things that happened that we can't explain. We did some checking around and found out that all was not as it seemed. We need to talk with you. You can tell us to go when we're done, but this didn't seem to be news that should be sent in a letter. May we go somewhere and talk?"

"Today was supposed to be a day for us to enjoy some time off."

"I'm sorry, but this is important."

Reg walked up. "Adam, perhaps we can go to the Library and talk this over. When they have said what they have to say, they can stay or go at your call."

With that proviso, Adam agreed, and the group headed to the house with Marley walking with Adam and keeping her hand on his arm. She felt his tension, and noted how the other three Cartwrights stared at her obviously wondering who she was. She guessed that information could wait. There was room for all of them in the Library, and they would have privacy as well. Adam asked Marlee and Reg to stay with him. There were no introductions, but Bud and the hands had recognized the men by the descriptions Adam had once mentioned. As Ben, Hoss, and Joe had walked through the crowd of men preparing the meat for that day's feast, they became a bit uncomfortable with the looks they were getting. Robert came up to Adam and Marlee, but they told him it would be best if he did not come with them but stayed to help the hands. Adam promised that there would be no secrets and everything would be explained later. Robert was disappointed not to be included but understood.

Once in the library, Reg pulled the doors closed as Adam stoked the fire in the fireplace that was in there. Marlee told all the men to be seated, and then she sat on the couch next to Adam and placed her hand on his arm once more in a show of support. Ben and his brothers noticed the gesture but didn't know what to make of it. Adam decided to let them know.

"Marlee is my wife. This is her brother Reg Castle, the owner of this ranch. What is it you felt you needed to travel hundreds of miles to tell me?"

All three were amazed. So much had happened, none knew what to say. Hoss smiled though because once again Adam had managed to surprise them. Now if they could just get some of this mess straightened out, perhaps the family could have more smiling. Ben finally found his voice.

"Joe told me that you believed that I severed your access to Ponderosa accounts and ordered the lawyers who had worked for us not to take your case. That is not true. I knew it wasn't, but I knew you had to have had reasons to think it was true so I started asking some questions. At the bank, I did find that your access was gone, and when I questioned them, they said they had received a message from me ordering that. None of us ordered that. We didn't even know it had happened. You didn't draw on any of the accounts to hire an attorney and I thought you were angry at us and decided to do it on your own. I had no idea that you had trouble getting money. At the bank, they have a document that appears to have been signed by me authorizing such a thing, but it was not. Whoever did it must have had a document with my signature in order to forge it so well."

"You might have known I had no money if you had come to see me!"

Looking ashamed, Ben dropped his head before looking up directly at Adam. "I received a note I thought was from you, and it said you did not want to see me. The prosecutor ordered Joe and Hoss not to have any contact with you because they were witnesses."

"How could you think it was from me. You know my handwriting. You would have recognized it."

"That's just it. It did look like your writing. At the bank, they said the signature on the letter they received looked like mine. When they showed it to me after they found it in their files, even I thought it looked like my writing except I never wrote and signed that. We found the same story as we questioned our lawyers." Ben pulled out the note he thought that Adam had sent to him and handed it over to his son.

As Adam examined it, he had to admit that he even thought it looked like his handwriting. "Who could have done that? Apparently Tom Burns had his crazy reasons to do what he did to Ann to get even with her and with me. He wanted me blamed for the crime, but he had no means to stage all the rest of that." Adam was skeptical, but at the same time, he was wondering if it could be true. His father and brothers didn't lie about serious matters as far as his experience had told him, so he wondered what had really happened.

"If I could interject something here. Adam, while you were gone hunting, I sent some telegrams and letters about your case. I received one response and sent more based on what I learned in that one. The business that purchased your mining and railroad stock at such a low price, just a small fraction of what it was worth, when you needed the money, is owned by a Mrs. William Enders."

"Bill Enders!"

Adam's response was all that Reg needed to know that there was a connection now that should be explored. He had sent additional telegrams and letters out to find out more about Mrs. Enders and her husband. Now he knew he was on the right trail.

"How do you know Bill Enders?"

"I'm the one responsible for getting him sent to prison. He could have hanged but the judge was lenient."

"Did you see him in prison?"

"Yes, he participated in the attacks on me. I saw him altogether too much. He seemed to be the one giving the orders to the men who attacked me, and he had that slimy smile the whole time each time."

Adam dropped his head into his hands. This was too much. Now he was reliving those memories from prison. Marlee wrapped her arms around him as he tried to regain control of his breathing and his emotions. All the men remained silent. They knew without asking what kind of memories Adam was struggling with. Marlee did not truly know. She knew of the beatings and the whipping he received in prison but did not know what men could do to other men in that setting.

"Son, we are so sorry. We had no idea of what was happening to you in that prison."

"If you had ever visited, you would have seen the evidence. I never healed up enough in between."

"We did try to visit, but every time we did, they said you were in solitary and were not allowed visitors." Joe had to ask. "Why were you in solitary so much?"

"Because I was blamed for inciting a disturbance for each time I was attacked."

For the first time, Joe, Ben, and Hoss realized how often Adam must have been attacked in that prison. He would never have had any peace in the two years he was there.

"I'm so sorry we never got to see you. We did leave notes each time for you."

"I never received a note or letter in the two years I was in there."

Ben and his brothers were shocked. They had no idea that he had been that isolated with no solace from anyone.

"Adam, I know your lawyer sent letters to the prison for you too. The last one would have notified you of the appeal to the governor based on the new evidence we uncovered."

"The first letter I saw was the one from the governor on the day I was released. No one was waiting for me, so I left on my own. In town, I signed up for the cattle drive that brought me here."

"Reg, we are being neglectful hosts. Perhaps you would like to offer some refreshment to these men in the study. I'll stay here with Adam."

Everyone knew Marlee was asking them to give Adam some time to adjust to everything. She would stay by his side and support him. Once the men were in the study, Reg offered wine, brandy, or whisky. They all chose whisky. Assuming they would have questions about Adam and Marlee, he told them a brief history of the two. All of them found it hard to accept that Adam had fallen in love with a dying woman. It seemed tragedy was stalking him. Reg assured them that Adam was well aware of Marlee's condition well before the marriage, and he had been the one to insist on marriage. The two of them were inseparable and making the most of the time they had. They had true joy in being together. Reg told them to be happy for the couple not sad because although the time they had together was going to be short, most people never had what the two of them did. He told them of Adam's scars both physical and emotional. He told of how withdrawn he seemed when he first came to the ranch, and how all that changed with Marlee's arrival.

Robert came looking for Reg to see what had happened. Reg asked Robert to get plates of food for Adam and Marlee and bring them to the library, and then get one for himself and join them in there for dinner. He would host the Cartwrights in the dining room after he got a platter of meat from outside. He left the Cartwrights for a few minutes as he went to tell Chun Kit to serve the other dishes in the dining room.

At dinner, Reg described all the changes Adam was designing for his ranch. There were the addition to the stable, a storage barn, a forge, a larger washroom for the house, and a water closet on the second floor. He invited them to take a tour of his stable to see how it had been reinforced and expanded although the interior work was not yet done. He told them that that was where Adam and Marlee had been married. Now there were stacks of lumber and barrels of hardware in there for the construction of stalls, pens, and a loft over the winter months. There was even a Franklin stove in one corner of the stable so that if there was a need they could add some heat to the stable. In addition, the tack room now had a Franklin stove as well and a large work counter had been added. They would see the newly attached elk racks hanging on the outside of the barn above the main door. These were the evidence of the first successful elk hunt on his ranch, and Robert was especially proud that he had contributed one of those trophies.

"It seems my son has made himself at home here."

"This is his home now and for as long as he wants it. He will always be welcome here."

"I had hoped that he might return to the Ponderosa at some point."

"Ben, I think that might happen, but we have to get the full story of what happened to him so he can find some peace. I cannot afford a full investigation. My money is tied up in improving my ranch. I think that Adam may soon be able to afford it though if he chooses to. I sent a letter to Mr. and Mrs. King who sued for Adam's property when they thought he had murdered Mrs. King's sister. I suggested that they make a cash settlement to Adam and that it be fair so that we don't have to get accountants and lawyers involved to work out a deal. It's a bluff, but I think they will make a reasonable settlement now that they know the truth."

"Why is it a bluff?"

"Because Adam had told me he would not ever go into a courtroom willingly. But the Kings have no way of knowing that, and I hope that they are feeling at least a little guilty about what they did. However at the moment, he does not have the funds for an investigation either."

Ben looked at Hoss and Joe and they both nodded immediately.

"We'll hire the same agency that found the evidence to free Adam and found him here. We'll need any evidence you uncover so that we can turn it over to them. We will give them what we have found in Virginia City."

"How about that tour now. I don't have enough room to accommodate the three of you unless you want to sleep in the bunkhouse or stable. So I would like to give you the tour soon so there will be time for you to ride back to town if you wish."

"We do have rooms in town. Do you think that we could return tomorrow? I would like to see Adam and Marlee again before we leave."

"I'll send a hand to town with a message letting you know in the morning. We get up early so it should be no later than eight. It will be up to Adam. He has a lot to assimilate right now so we need to give him some time."

After the tour, Ben, Hoss, and Joe rode back to town. They felt they had made some progress in understanding what had happened. The big question was still if Adam could forgive them for not believing in him and not trusting him. It was crucial, but they would have to wait for that answer.

The next morning, the messenger turned out to be Bud. He said that Adam, Marlee, Reg, and Robert would be in town soon and would like to have breakfast with Ben, Hoss, and Joe. Adam had requested that there would be no talk about what they had discussed the day before. He wanted only some social time and nothing more today. When they saw him as he walked into the saloon, they understood why. Adam didn't look like he had slept at all, and the exhaustion was apparent. So they respected his wishes and talked about the ranch, the hunt, Chun Kit, and a variety of other topics before Ben, Hoss, and Joe had to leave so they could reach the next town before sunset. Ben asked if he could return when they had more news because he wanted to talk more about what had happened. Adam said he would consider it and let him know.

After that exchange, Adam and Marlee stood outside the saloon and watched the three other Cartwrights ride out of town. Suddenly Marlee slumped against Adam's side, and he grabbed her before she could fall. She had been having dizzy spells lately, but this was the first time she had fainted. Adam carried her to the carriage and lifted her in as Robert helped. Robert tied his horse to the back of the carriage so that he could drive allowing Adam to sit in the back of the carriage and hold Marlee. She was conscious but feeling weak. All three men were afraid of what this portended. It was what was expected, but all kept hoping for more time.

 

Chapter 11

Reg and Robert were now part of Adam's family as was Marlee's daughter whom he met over Christmas at the Castle ranch. Patricia or Patty was shy and reserved which Marlee claimed she had been when she was that age too, but Adam just couldn't see it.

"The woman who kissed me when I was invited for lunch was shy and reserved? I just can't see that in you, Marlee."

"That was the Marlee who became an adult, a wife, and a parent in San Francisco over twenty years ago. A lot can happen in twenty years."

Adam smiled. He had been teasing her, and by her answering smile, she knew it. It was winter but some warm days let them know that spring was approaching. It helped everyone's mood. At least with the new barn, they could get out of the house and do something, but activities were still limited by cold and snow. Marlee longed to be able to take just a few more walks to the woods with her husband. At Christmas, she wanted to show her daughter around the ranch and the spectacular views and the herds of antelope and other wild game. However, she also knew that her continuing problems with dizziness and more and more frequent episodes of fainting were warning signs. She was so grateful that no one was treating her as an invalid no matter how much they might want to do that.

Christmas and Valentine's Day had been bittersweet for Adam. He was with the person he loved as much as he had ever loved before, but he knew she would be gone soon. He saw the changes in her and it wasn't just the fainting and the dizzy spells. After her daughter had returned to her family in San Francisco, it seemed as if Marlee didn't have the energy to do things that she once did. She had expended a lot of effort into making her daughter's stay memorable. Once Patty was gone, Marlee relaxed into the company of the three men who would be by her side until the end. Adam hoped she would get to see spring one more time, but over the last few days of February, Marlee had grown noticeably worse. The strain on her heart was getting to be too much. Each day that he awoke to find her still warm in his arms was an occasion for rejoicing, but he steeled himself for the day when the opposite would be true. Her prediction that she would die in her sleep as her heart slowed and stopped terrified him in many ways as he feared waking to a cold Marlee in his arms. At least that did not happen.

In early March, it happened. The weather had been warming and the air smelled clean and sweet. Adam awoke and Marlee was in his arms but very still. He tried to wake her but got no response. He stood and pulled on pants, opened the door, and called for Robert and Reg. He walked to the bed and gathered Marlee in his arms and sat against the headboard holding her as her son and brother dashed into the room.

"She's not responding to anything I do. I can't get her to wake and her breathing is very shallow."

Robert sat on the edge of the bed and held his mother's hands. He told her how much he loved her and would miss her but assured her that he was safe in the hands of Reg and Adam and would soon be safe in the arms of the Lord and Savior. Her breathing slowed and stopped and all color drained from her face as if he had given her permission to go. Robert sobbed and dropped his head against his mother as tears ran down Adam's face as he held her body against him. Adam and Robert dressed Marlee in her favorite dress and brushed her hair. Both thought she had always looked more beautiful with her hair down so that is how they left it. Adam carefully lifted her in his arms and carried her to the library where he laid her on the leather couch.

A short time later, Reg looked out the window of his study to see Adam using a pickaxe to dig a grave. As he watched him, Robert trudged out too with a shovel and removed the clods of soil that Adam loosened. Once Adam broke through the frost line, they took turns standing in the grave with a shovel to make it deeper. By early afternoon, they finished and came inside to clean up.

Chun Kit had waited to serve lunch until the men were finished with the grave. None were hungry though and pushed the food around more than they ate. After lunch, Reg rode to town to ask the minister to come out to the ranch the next morning for a graveside service. He stopped in the mercantile to tell Davis so he could let the people in town know, and also to send a telegram to the Ponderosa and another to Marlee's daughter Patty who would let the rest of the family know. At the ranch, Adam and Robert went to the tack room where they used lumber meant for the barn remodeling to build a casket. Once Reg arrived home, he brought out a bolt of cloth Marlee had intended to use to sew some shirts and a dress. They used it to line the coffin. The men were somber and serious and only spoke as needed. Reg worried about Adam and Robert and how they would react when they had no more tasks to keep them busy.

That night after dinner, Adam suggested they tell stories about their memories of Marlee. Bud joined them and brandy in hand, they spent hours talking about her. Eventually they decided they needed to try to get some sleep. Adam couldn't sleep in the bed he had shared with Marlee so he slept in the rocking chair in their room. He knew he would be stiff and sore the next day but it was what he had to do.

By about nine the next morning, there was a procession of wagons, carriages, and horses into the yard. Inside Robert and Adam did the hardest thing they had done yet. They placed Marlee in the coffin and sealed it. With the weather so cold, there were no flowers so they used pine boughs tied with ribbon. Chun Kit folded white paper flowers to be tied into each bouquet. Rope handles on the side of the coffin were used by Adam, Robert, Reg, and Bud to carry Marlee's coffin to the grave. From there the funeral proceeded normally. After Robert, Adam, Reg, and Bud lowered the coffin into the grave using ropes, they each dropped a handful of soil into the grave and then the pine bouquets. The hands volunteered to finish, and Adam and the others returned to the house once the task was completed. People had brought food and Chun Kit had made more. After people ate and offered their condolences, they left one by one. Then finally as the house grew quiet, Adam, Robert, and Reg realized the finality of Marlee's death. She was gone and her laughter would never again brighten this home. They would spend weeks getting used to that idea.

Adam worked from sunrise to sunset and Robert shadowed him. The two used work to wall themselves off from their emotions. Gradually they began to talk and amazingly began to confide in each other things that in the past they would only have shared with Marlee. Robert wanted to go to college and would soon be seventeen. Adam offered to help him prepare, and suggested he might want to visit the college in Stockton and the university in San Francisco to see if either of them appealed to him. With his inheritance, Robert could pay his own way and have enough to set himself up when he finished. What he needed to decide was what he wanted to be. His dream was to be an architect and engineer, but he loved living in Wyoming too near his uncle. A future in Laramie was a possibility. Adam's future plans were less certain.

One evening after dinner, Reg asked Adam how he was doing. Adam stared into his coffee cup for a time before answering.

"I miss Marlee every minute of every day. But I can't let sadness dominate my life because I promised her I wouldn't. She asked me to remember our joy and our love so that she would remain alive in my heart. She said if I dwelled on the pain and the sadness, I would eventually have to forget her, and she would truly be gone from life. So that is what I try to do every minute of every day."

"That sounds like Marlee. Even from heaven, she is worried about us."

"Your sister was one hell of a woman."

Adam's voice broke and he could say no more which was just as well because Reg was in the same condition. They sat quietly for a time lost in their memories of the most honest and loving woman they would ever probably know.

Then Adam received a copy of the Pinkerton report from his father. The pieces of the puzzle were all there now and the picture they created was an ugly one. Men hated and sought to destroy him because he followed and supported the law. The life sentences that would lead to them ending their lives in prison were most unsatisfactory. Adam did not desire blood revenge, but devious, manipulative, cruel men like that ruled the prison hierarchy. Undoubtedly, they would have more victims. Finally, knowing what he did now, he was not confident that they would remain in prison.

The Pinkerton Agency had had a tough time with the new investigation asked for by Ben Cartwright. Most of the people they needed to find and question were criminals and one at least was in prison. The other people they needed were relatives of the criminals if not actually committing illegal acts themselves. The agency had extensive records of criminals in the United States, but this one case would add a number of files to that inventory. As it turned out, the conspiracy against Adam Cartwright was carried out mostly by Tom Burns, but at the direction of Bill Enders through Mary Enders who handled most of the communication and forged the papers. By the time the agency was finished, they had a complete version of the whole sordid mess. Tom Burns and Bill Enders had met in prison. Tom got out and worked an elaborate conspiracy against his wife and her lover managing to convince everyone that they had committed the crime and that he was innocent although presumed dead. During this time, Tom also got involved with Ann who later got involved with Adam. Tom never forgave either of them for that conveniently ignoring the fact that he was married at the time he seduced Ann. When he realized that Adam and Ann were together again, his fury pushed him over the edge.

Desiring revenge but lacking resources, Tom went to visit his old friend Bill who was still in prison. He had remembered Bill spewing hate and threats against this same Adam Cartwright. In fact it was Bill who told Tom how much he resembled Adam so that Tom had used that when he got out of prison to get money, a horse, and new clothes. But Bill was a wealthy man too and could fund a plan to get even with Adam. When the two met all those years later, they quickly established the skeleton of a plan so that both of them could get revenge. Bill had samples not only of Adam's writing and signature but one sample from Ben too because of investments they had in common, and he told Tom what kind of documents to have Mary create so that they could be delivered in Virginia City. Their plan was that Adam would be left forlorn and poor as Bill's wife bought up his investments for fire sale prices. Tom could never appear in Virginia City so a variety of men were hired to deliver messages to get the wheels of justice churning so they could grind up Adam after Tom got him blamed for Ann's rape and murder. The murder of Jacob had been unplanned but happened in the fury of the moment. It was sheer luck that Adam's brothers were the ones riding by when Tom purposefully exited Ann's house in order to be seen witnesses after she was raped and killed. It helped the conspiracy nicely. Inexplicably, the judge had given Adam a life sentence instead of a death sentence. So Tom had hired men to go into the saloons, buy drinks for men who spoke up about Cartwright getting off easy with the intent of creating a lynch mob. Ann was well liked and in general, men who committed crimes against women were hated. Getting him lynched had almost worked too except they had not accounted for that deputy Clem.

Once Adam arrived at the prison though, Bill used his money to pay off guards and got other inmates to attack Adam repeatedly. Neither Bill nor Tom wanted Adam to survive because even from prison, he might start to figure out what had happened. The attacks on Adam were so frequent and debilitating that Bill expected him to die each time but somehow he survived each attack. There were better and more efficient ways to kill a man in prison, but Bill decided that he wanted him to be humiliated and debased before he eventually died. Then the shocker had been when Adam was released and disappeared. Bill hadn't known what to make of that until he found that Tom had been arrested. At that point, he had tried to cover his tracks but there were too many who knew what he had been doing. The evidentiary trail was too strong to obliterate. It took the Pinkerton agents months to collect everything but eventually they did and prepared a complete report.

The key to breaking the case was the governor agreeing to commute Tom's sentence from death by hanging to life in prison. The commutation was based on Tom's willingness to explain events and name names. By the time the report was completed, a number of other people including Mary Enders had been arrested, and Bill's sentence was extended to one hundred years. He and Tom would never get out of prison. Their desire for revenge had cost them any chance at freedom. Bill's wife had tried to disappear and no one knew where she went at first, but the Pinkertons were on the case and found her trail turning over evidence to the authorities that got her arrested in Missouri and returned for trial. She got a twenty-year sentence avoiding a longer sentence because apparently she didn't know that Ann was going to be killed. Her involvement in the case had been as an accomplice who worked with the conspirators after the fact. It took a full six months for the report to be finalized in the failed conspiracy to destroy Adam Cartwright.

Tom and Bill had been partially successful in the scheme for revenge though. They had damaged Adam's relationship with his family. He had scars he would carry for the rest of his life both physical and emotional. In other ways though Adam had gained. He got to be a husband to Marlee and experienced more joy with her that he would never forget. He got to be his own man on the Castle ranch where he was liked and admired for what he could do and not for being a Cartwright. He made new friends who treated him with respect.

However Adam was still hurting from the treatment by his family. Much of what he had held against them though was explained in the report the received. Yet he was still hurt that they had not believed him nor trusted him. In such a terrible situation, belief and trust were paramount so their absence was that much more hurtful. Finally Robert helped him with his perspective.

"If I could have my father back even though he and I had little in common, I would do everything I could to make it happen. He was never physically abusive, but he made frequent negative and sometime even demeaning remarks to me. I was so unlike him but he wanted an heir to take over his businesses. I had not the slightest interest in that. I like music, reading, sketching buildings, and working with math. He thought if he could bully me into stopping those things, I could learn to like what he did. We were more and more at odds as I got older. Despite any of that, I loved him, and I wish my father was still alive. Yours is."

Adam leaned back into the bench and stretched his long legs out toward Marlee's grave. As the weather had warmed, he and Robert frequently walked out here to sit on the bench and talk. It was a way to keep Marlee with them. Reg had ordered a statue and a small headstone, which would simply read 'Marlee Castle Burke Cartwright, Always beloved, 1830-1870'. As he sat there, he wondered what Marlee would have wanted him to do. Mostly she had sympathized with him and listened. On this issue though he suspected her opinion might have mirrored her son's. Adam was torn. He had a life here among people he liked and doing things he enjoyed. Going back to Virginia City meant dealing with people who had turned their backs on him when he needed them most. But his family was trying and he had to acknowledge their efforts somehow. Each month, letters arrived from his family. It was often enough to let him know that they cared but not so much as to push him which he would have resented.

In May, Reg made plans to travel with Robert to San Francisco, and he asked Adam to take charge of the ranch in his absence. Adam agreed. He decided to let his family know he had a commitment through June. Then he would come home, but he would decide later whether it was a visit or a return. Adam liked having a plan. Even though he was nervous about what would happen, he felt comfortable with the timeline. He had projects to work on here to help him work through some of that nervous energy. He had time to decide on his future.

 

Chapter 12

June twentieth was a beautiful summer day but not everyone on the Castle Ranch was in a good humor. They had spent days scouring the pastures and had found far fewer cattle than they should have. They knew that the herd would be smaller because they had only brought in new cows and bulls the previous summer, but the numbers were still far too small. There were enough to have a small drive to market but probably less than half of what they had intended to send. Reg was due home soon, and no one wanted to have to tell him. Everyone looked to Adam as the logical choice because Reg had left him in charge. Adam and Bud sat at dinner and went through the various scenarios that could have led to this result, but only one stood out.

"If there was significant winter kill, a disease outbreak, or too many taken by wolves or bears, there would have been evidence. We would have seen bones and probably hide. We found nothing. It's got to be rustlers."

Adam sighed and nodded. He agreed. But there were two major problems for him now. There was no law enforcement here. The town was too small, and they had not had any serious problem until now. The other issue for him was personal. He had told his father and brothers that he would be traveling to the Ponderosa at the end of June. He had a commitment to his family here and his family in Nevada. He didn't see a solution to either and the quandary weighed on him heavily.

"If they're going to hit us again, it will be while some of the hands are gone on the drive. We need to hire more men and set up a system of surveillance. Bud, do you think you could get a few men here before you leave on the drive? I can get things ready but I don't know this area well so I'm not confident in hiring."

"If I leave today, I might get some men in Rock Springs, but I only have a few days so no guarantees."

"Not expecting any. Just a few good men would do."

Bud left to pack. He could get at least four hours of riding in yet before camping. He would reach Rock Springs tomorrow if he rode hard. Then in two days, he hoped to have some men hired. They would return to replace hands normally going on the drive. Newt and Jake would stay and take some of the hands and work out a system with Adam to cover most of the ranch every day. Hopefully they would find some sign of the rustlers and be able to set a trap. Neighboring ranchers would likely help. Newt and Adam could contact some of them over the three days they expected Bud to be gone. Jake could handle most of the preparation for the drive and review his work with Adam each night.

At the Bar W and Lazy A ranches, the owners told Adam that they had the same problem. After discussing it, they agreed it had to be rustlers. Both ranchers agreed to send men out looking for clues as to where the rustlers were and where they were taking the cattle. The CR hands found nothing but two days later, the owner and foreman of the Bar W rode into the yard of the Castle Ranch to ask for Adam.

"Did you find something?"

"No, not exactly. We didn't find any evidence of rustlers' camps or nothing. What my foreman noticed though is mighty suspicious."

The foreman seemed reluctant to talk, but his boss encouraged him. "You ain't gonna get an innocent man in trouble. If he's done nothing wrong, then we'll keep looking, but tell him what you saw so we can see what we gotta do next."

"Well ya see, the Bar W borders the Lazy A all along the north side. You got a bit of a border with them too, but not as much. We was riding and looking for evidence, and we seen the Lazy A hands working the herd they plan to drive to market. Onliest it seems to be that herd is every cow they owns, and then maybe some more, or they got somebody else's cattle mixed in there. Now that could happen accidentally but then they'da told us and we woulda gone and got our beeves."

"Mr. Wright, I think we ought to take a trip over there to see for ourselves. I'm not going alone though. I'll take some of the men with me."

"I'll do the same. Meet where the road forks between the two ranches. We'll be there in two hours."

When the two forces met, they rode together to the Andrews ranch. As they rode in, Eric Andrews walked out to meet them. Adam had only met the man a few times but thought he looked nervous. He let Frank Wright do the talking as he observed what was happening around him. He nodded at a few of his men and they pulled their horses off to the side he indicated. Then turning in the saddle, he sent a few toward the barns and the corrals.

"Eric, we been told that maybe some of our stock got mixed up with yours. Now if you ain't had time to separate them and send them our way, we're volunteering to do that cause we're both getting our herds ready for a drive right now."

Eric raised his hand as if to say something, but instead a rifle shot hit the dirt in front of Adam and Frank. Adam's horse reared ,but he was able to draw and fire anyway. A man with a rifle fell from the upper hayloft door of the barn. Adam swung his gun around and aimed at Eric Andrews' chest.

"I'm guessing that means you don't want us to look. We're looking and anyone else who tries to stop us is going to end up like that one by the barn. Now I suggest you unbuckle your gunbelt and drop it slowly."

Andrews hesitated. He knew it was probably hopeless, but if he did nothing, he was going to prison or worse. Justice out here could be harsh. He yelled at his men to shoot and then tried to draw his own pistol while lunging to the side. All that got him was a bullet in the lung instead of the heart. Most of his men dropped their guns and raised their hands. It wasn't worth dying for.

Adam and Frank questioned the men and found who had been in charge and who had been doing it for the money. The ones in charge of the rustling operation were tied up and taken into the barn where they were guarded. The others were told to pack their gear and leave. If they never came back, there would be no charges. Most were grateful for the opportunity to get out of this so easily and quickly left.

Adam and Frank walked to the house to talk to the new widow.

"I told him not to do it. I told him we could wait it out just like everybody else, but he was too impatient, too greedy, and now look what it got him."

Adam made her an offer.

"We can drive your cattle to market for you, all or some, you decide. If you want to keep the ranch, you will need to hire a new set of hands. We'll have someone here for the next two days to help out. We'll be riding out to the herd and dealing with the men out there as we did with this bunch."

"Please let me go with you. My son is out there. I'll tell him to not to fight. Please, he's all I have left now."

Adam and Frank agreed. They didn't want another fight if they could avoid it. They had been lucky this time that the man in the barn was an awful shot. There was no way of knowing if he intended to shoot Adam or Frank, but regardless, they were lucky. When they got out on the range, Mrs. Andrews rode well ahead and talked to her son. They hugged and even from a distance, everyone could see that it was over. As Adam, Frank, and their men rode near, the young man turned to face them with courage but also with regret.

"I'm sorry for what happened. We told him not to do it, but the foreman told him if they took small numbers from each herd in the area, no one would notice. It was wrong. I'll do what I can to make it right."

Again the men were interviewed. It appeared that most of these men had been doing it for the money. Deciding that there was enough killing and that the other guilty parties were already in their custody, all the men with the herd were escorted back to the ranch and given the same deal in order to be free men. They packed their gear and rode off. Summer was a good time to hire on at ranches so there would be little trouble as they split up to seek jobs.

"She and that boy ain't gonna be able to run this ranch, you know that, don't you?"

"Yes. I'll make her an offer in a few days time. See if she wants to sell. I want to give her some decent time to mourn."

"It's a hard land out here. She'll understand."

Two days later, Bud led the drive out. The additional men he hired as well as a full contingent of CR hands went with him because of the extra cattle they were driving. Adam rode over to the Lazy A to talk with Mrs. Andrews. He found her in her garden. As he rode in, her son walked out of the barn and followed him as he rode to the house. He asked if there was someplace the three of them could talk business. They went into the kitchen and Mrs. Andrews poured coffee for all.

"Have you decided on what you want to do?"

"I can't run this ranch by myself even with Don's help. He's only fourteen years old and no men out here would listen to him as a boss. I don't know enough about ranching and neither does he at this point. We'll have to sell but getting a buyer is always so difficult. We owe the bank a lot and if we can't sell, we'll just lose the place. It's the only home Don has ever had, and I hate to think of leaving, but I don't see what else we can do."

"I'll buy your ranch if you would be willing to sell to me. You could keep the house and stay living in it as I have no need of it. Don can work for the Castle Ranch and live here. He would be responsible to maintain the buildings and take care of any stock we kept here although we don't have a need to do that now."

"Where would you come up with that kind of money or were you going to offer us a pittance because you know we have no other option."

"I'll give you a fair price. I came into a large sum of money recently and have no need for it. This is a good use of that money. We both gain."

Adam quoted her a figure and she gasped. She knew that was the best offer she could possibly imagine getting. He either knew nothing about land prices or he was being a decent man. He didn't look or act ignorant so she had to assume he was doing the right thing.

"When would we do this?"

"We can do it today if you have the mortgage papers and deed."

The Andrews got in their wagon and followed Adam to town. The bank collected the amount due on the mortgage from him, and then he made a draft for the remaining amount to Mrs. Andrews They went to the land office, which was in an office in the bank and transferred the deed. Next Adam deeded the house and surrounding acre to Mrs. Andrews. She would keep her gardens and the family plot. The land with the barn, corrals, and bunkhouse as well as all the grazing lands and remaining Lazy A cattle now belonged to Adam. He owned a ranch again. He said the gate with the Lazy A sign could stay. He gave some instructions to Don, as his first hire, on what he needed to do over the next week. He also asked him to come over to the CR the next day to meet the hands who were still there. Then he and Don shook hands.

When Adam rode back late that night to the CR, there were lights in the windows of the main house study and library. He was happy that Reg and Robert were home. He had a lot to tell them, and hoped Reg would be agreeable with what he had done. But first he had to welcome them home. Robert was excited to see him and grabbed him in a hug. Reg was more reserved and the two men shook hands. Adam told them about the problems they had had, and how it had been resolved. Then he needed to explain what he had been doing that day.

"Reg, if you would be willing to be a partner with me, I just increased the size of the ranch by doubling it. I bought the Lazy A today.?

Reg looked at him in complete surprise, and then smiled.

"Marlee said you were good at surprises!"

Adam grinned and nodded. She wasn't the first person to say that. He had a tendency to work out a problem or a situation thoroughly in his head first and then just do what he had decided. Without speaking to anyone else first, it always came as a surprise to them.

"Adam, you're family now. Of course, we can work together. What did you have in mind?"

"I want to go back to the Ponderosa. I don't think it will be forever though. If you would agree, I would like to leave some of my things here and be back for the winter. I could help Robert prepare for school, and there are a number of projects here I have on paper but haven't done anything with yet."

"I would like that very much."

"I'd like it too. Can I go with you to the Ponderosa?"

Adam looked at the young man he liked so much. He felt like he did in fact have a son.

"I'm sorry but not this time. I think that there may be some tension with everything that has happened, and I need to work through all of that with them and come to some understanding. I don't want you in the middle of that. There's also Don Andrews. I was hoping to ask you to take him under your wing and help him out. He needs a friend and someone to show him how to grow up to be a man. I think you are the one to do that. He'll be more comfortable working here if you are working with him. He just lost his father too."

"Adam, will they be living on what Don is making?"

Adam told them that Mrs. Andrews cleared enough from the sale of the ranch that she could support herself for her life if she spent reasonably. Reg asked how much he paid for the ranch and Adam told him.

"You could have gotten that ranch for a third of that."

"Yes, but it would have been wrong to do that. I couldn't take advantage of her and leave her destitute. I just killed her husband."

"That was his fault not yours."

"But I am still responsible."

"When we talk like this it's as if Marlee never left. The two of you think so much alike."

Adam ignored the use of the present tense. He carried one of Marlee's handkerchiefs in his shirt pocket over his heart every day. She would always be with him. All of her things were still in their room. He couldn't bear to pack up any of it. So the drawers on the dresser were filled with her clothing, her books, and her mementos. He would deal with that over the winter months. Robert would want some of those items, and they would decide what each of them would keep. She had a dark blue bandanna and he wore that around his neck now on hot days. He still found it difficult to let people see that scar around his neck, so without the bandanna, he would button his shirt to the top button.

The next morning, Adam came downstairs to breakfast with his saddlebags packed. He didn't want to leave especially so soon but knew he had to. If he stayed and got into a routine with Robert and Reg, he wasn't sure he would be able to go at all. Robert choked up every time Adam talked of leaving. Adam told Robert to use the drafting tools and design a hay barn. Adam had some ideas on how to prevent the steep losses of cattle in heavy snows.

"Do I sketch it or draw it?"

"I would like you to do both. When I get back, we'll work on the drawings, but if I see the sketch, I'll have a better idea what you want. Now remember to talk to Bud and the others to see what they think a hay barn ought to look like. The new corrals have to be finished too. I intend to bring back a string of horses from the Ponderosa to improve the breeding stock here, and we'll need those corrals."

Any worries that Adam wouldn't come back were alleviated. He was leaving some important possessions behind. He was making plans for the future here. They knew he would be back. Reg and Robert were certain of it. They said goodbye and that they were sorry that Bud, Jake, and the other hands wouldn't be able to say goodbye. Adam explained that he had said his goodbyes to the men before they left on the drive as he had already made up his mind to return to the Ponderosa. With a tip of his hat, he turned and rode off. Later when they walked to visit Marlee's grave, they found a fresh bouquet of flowers at the plaque. He had said his goodbyes there too.

As Adam got as far as Salt Lake City, his horse developed inflammation in his right foreleg. Adam sold him there. The horse had been a reasonable mount, but he hoped to have a better one soon. He took the train to Reno, and then switched over to stagecoach to Virginia City. Originally he had not wanted to go to that town so soon, but it was necessary. He hoped he could get off the stage and to the livery stable without being recognized so he let his beard grow. He already wore clothing unlike what Adam Cartwright was known for. Going incognito didn't work though. As he walked away from the stage, he heard Roy Coffee calling his name. He had not seen Roy in three years, but despite the changes in him, Roy had recognized him.

"How did you do that? I didn't think anyone would recognize me."

"Well, hello to you too, Adam. Now I didn't at first, but you did look mighty familiar. As you walked away, I just knew it was you. Would you like to have a coffee or some lunch before you leave?"

"No actually I would like to get a horse and get out of town before anyone else recognizes me and the longer I stand here talking with you, the less likely that is going to work out for me."

It was too late already. Doctor Martin was already walking toward them. He greeted the doctor with a cool detachment. He remembered the last time he had seen him. Roy noticed the change and suspected he knew the reason.

"Now Adam if you're blaming Doc here for that last night I think you oughta hear what he has ta say first."

Paul took a deep breath and looked at Adam with embarrassment but decided he had to be honest too.

"I didn't speak to you in the street that night because I couldn't. I couldn't cry in front of those men, and that's what I was going to do. So I took the coward's way out and left. I am sorry for that. I should have let them see my tears and know how I felt. It would have helped you too."

Adam nodded. It seemed a lot of people had hurt him without having the intention to do so. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, but it was too late to worry about it. He offered his hand to Paul who took it with gratitude. Adam had decided too many good memories couldn't be destroyed by one awful one once he had a chance to think about it.

"If you're planning to go see your family, you don't have long to wait. I just saw them go in the bank as I was walking to my office. Then I saw you here with Roy and had to come make amends."

It was happening so fast. Adam took his leave of the two men and walked toward the bank. As he neared the bank, he stopped and leaned on a hitching rail debating whether to have the reunion in the bank in front of all of those people who knew the Cartwrights so well or out here on the street among even more people but most who wouldn't know who he was. The decision was made as his father and brothers exited the bank. Joe and Ben were talking, but Hoss looked across the street and broke out into a dead run at him. Adam was a little worried about his personal safety with three hundreds pounds of muscled man rushing at him, but Hoss pulled up in front of him and gave him a bear hug. Once he was released by Hoss, his father and Joe were there and hugged him too. Finally they stopped remembering how much he disliked things like that especially in public.

"I'm sorry son, but I was so glad to see you here, I couldn't help myself. I'm sure your brothers felt the same way."

"Hot diggidy, Adam, it sure is good ta see ya."

Joe suggested a beer before they headed to the Ponderosa, and they were all so excited about it, that Adam agreed to one beer. Then he just wanted to get out of this town. He had not spent time in any town for three years, and it all made him uncomfortable. It was triggering memories he would rather not remember. In the saloon, Hoss ordered four beers and looked at their father for payment. Ben just rolled his eyes and pulled the money out of his pocket for Sam. Adam explained that he would like to stay at least until November but that he had a commitment over the winter.

"Shucks, Adam, that's not a problem. I remember you stalking around the house like a caged mountain lion almost every winter. It's good ya got something to do. We got a lot of time to get to know you again."

In the corner of the bar, there were a bunch of drifters. A few knew Adam although he wouldn't have recognized any of them. They were former employees of the Lazy A. One thought he would get a little revenge for losing his job. He sauntered toward Adam showing off for his buddies. He outweighed Adam by at least one hundred pounds. He was overconfident as a result.

"Hey now, ain't this the man who done married a dying woman to get her money? He had his fun with her and then stuck her in the ground."

The drunken lout probably never saw the fist coming. If caught him under the chin and lifted him onto a table. He slid across the table onto the floor on the other side and didn't move. His friends cautiously approached him and were relieved to see he was still breathing although it looked like his jaw was broken. Adam stood by the bar grimacing. He probably broke a bone or two in his left hand with that one . He had learned in prison not to lead with his right hand because he needed that one more. He became adept at throwing his weight and muscle into a left uppercut.

"No one ever say anything about my wife again!"

Adam walked to the door to leave but Roy was entering. Adam said nothing. His rapidly swelling hand and the man laying on the floor were pretty much the whole story. His father briefly stated what had happened and Sam backed him up. Roy told the man's friends to pick him up and get him over to the doc's. Then the Cartwrights headed to the livery stable. Adam rented a horse and the four rode out for the first time in three years. The family was whole again. There was still an important conversation to have. Ben waited a few days for the right opportunity. He wanted Adam rested, but he didn't feel that Adam would feel comfortable in his presence nor would they be able to rebuild their relationship until he did his mea culpa. The opportunity came a few days after they arrived home when Joe went to visit his children and Hoss and his children went with them. Seeing the look his father had, Adam waited.

"You may as well get started. I've seen that look before and I know you've got something you need to say."

"That's part of it actually. You're smarter than I am in many ways. I guess sometimes, I resent that and all the things you can do so well. I shouldn't. I should be proud of it, but it makes me jealous. I know that's petty and small. I admit it. There have been times when you deserved a lot more praise than you got, and times when you got a lot more criticism than you deserved, and that's all on me."

"I never expected to hear you say anything like that."

"There's more. When you left, I treated you most unfairly. What you were doing was something I should have accepted because I had done something much the same or even far more extreme taking my small son across the country and exposing him to danger, denying him a home and the comforts he deserved."

"Pa, I never held that against you."

"When I was reading your journal, it hit me how I did that to you. Perhaps you should have. I put my dreams first. I felt guilty about that and told myself it was all right because you would inherit what I built so it was for you too. Then you said you were leaving. You had your own dream and basically you were tired of building my dream. I resented that a little, but most of all, I felt guilt because now I had dragged you across the country and had you help build my dream without any consideration for what you wanted. I turned my guilt outward as anger toward you. I was unfair and wrong. I have no defense for my behavior. I can only beg your forgiveness."

"Pa, I do understand."

"I know you do after what happened to your wife, but I never asked about that either. What was she like?"

"She was my quiet girl, Pa. She was supportive and kind and smart too. There'll never be another one like her."

"I'm so sorry you lost her."

"Thank you. I'll never forget her either."

"As for what happened with your trial, son, I never thought you did any of it. I'm sorry I'm not as smart as you. I couldn't figure out what was happening and I was tricked much too easily. I should have questioned what was happening far more than I did. By allowing myself to be so easily fooled, I contributed to the harm you suffered. I have failed you as a father on so many occasions, I don't know that I even have the right to ask your forgiveness, but it is the one thing that I truly crave."

"Pa, I have forgiven you, but I have to admit that I have trouble trying to forget what happened. I'm afraid it has forever altered our relationship. It can never be the same."

"I understand. As long as you're willing to be here with us at least some of the time, and as long as you don't close us out, I am grateful that you can be that forgiving. Thank you."

When Hoss and Joe returned home, they found Ben and Adam playing chess. Adam was leaning back in the chair with his stocking feet resting on another chair. Joe mentioned something about that, but Adam only raised an eyebrow in response and Ben shrugged. He wasn't going to get in an argument with Adam over something like that. They were on a more even level now. Adam could do what he considered was proper to do, and his father was going to accept it.

"Check."

"Looks more like checkmate, son."

"It is, but I was giving you the option to concede."


End file.
